Road to Ghost Hell
by Blackspiderman
Summary: Dani's back, and in worse shape. Even after being stabilized she still has problems. But could it be linked to a past traumatic experience? And will she be accepted by the Fentons? Full summary inside. Now in Cartoon X-Overs On hiatus for sometime.
1. Prologue

**Danny Phantom**

**Road to Ghost Hell (Also Known As "Danny Phantom's Totally Awesome and Yet Strangely Queer Crossover Special")**

**Episode Summary: Now that Danny Fenton's secret is out, it's time for him to reveal one more truth to his family: his cousin/clone Danielle. Once revealed, Jack and Maddie insist she stay with them. But the little heroin continues to be haunted by the memory of being tortured by Vlad, and by a past memory of a failed heroic event, and the stress she's putting on herself is literally killing her. And moving out of Amity Park for a while doesn't make it any better, especially when they find out their new neighbors are none other than…well, you'll just have to read and find out. But I can tell you there will be chaos, anger, frustration, stress, and even a life at risk as 'Danny Phantom' makes its comeback!**

**A/N: I've decided to take a break from my PPG/FG crossover fanfics to focus on this one. I think it's a really good idea, and it gave me inspiration for my upcoming fanfic series "Family Guy: On the Road" where the Griffins will take a cross-country road trip to all of the most famous TV shows, such as 'Full House', 'George Lopez', 'Home Improvement', and even cartoons, 'Ed, Edd, n Eddy', 'My Life as a Teenage Robot' and 'The Powerpuff Girls'. Stay tuned for future information on that.**

**A/N: For those of you who are planning to watch the 10 year special of 'The Powerpuff Girls', do whatever the hell you can to AVOID IT! I SAW IT ONLINE, AND FOR THE RECORD, well...I won't say it sucked because there are people out there who did like. So, I'll just say that _I _didn't like it very much at all, and in my eyes, it did suck.**

**Enjoy!**

**TV-PG-DLV (This story is rated for some excessive violence, and a bit of inappropriate profanity)**

**Prologue**

* * *

It was a quiet and peaceful night in the town of Amity Park. Everyone else in the city has fallen asleep cozy in their beds. All, except for one though. The town superhero Danny Phantom is fighting his ghost enemy Skulker, an evil ghost hunter whose prime goal is to capture Danny for his collection.

It was about 10 pm, and while everyone else was asleep, Danny was fighting. Ecto-blast after Ecto-blast, but Skulker this time came prepared. He was much craftier than before, dodging all of Danny's attacks. So Danny decided to resort to brute force, and tackle him head on. He grabbed his shoulder blades, and shoved them down 200 ft to the ground, rippling the pavement with him. Then he threw a fierce sucker punch to his face, and held out the Fenton Thermos, catching Skulker inside.

"Nice try, Skulker. But you just can't win against me!" Danny called as Skulker was sucked into the thermos. "Phew! I think that's the last of them for tonight." Danny checked his radar which his dad, Jack, built for him to avoid using his ghost sense so often. At the moment, everything was clear.

But Danny didn't want to take any chances. So he searched the city for a little while.

"Right, cause the last time I forgot to do a city-wide search, I ended up the headlines."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cut to Danny Fenton on the sofa, watching the TV, more notably the news._

"_We interrupt this program for Breaking News." The news reporter said. "Seven citizens were found murdered in the Nasty Burger restaurant. Citizens are outraged, asking 'Why didn't Danny Phantom' show up to the crime scene?' but the truth was, Jack had accidentally blown up the fuses in the house, so none of the crime alarms in the house went off. And since it wasn't a ghost attack, his ghost sense didn't go off._

_(End Cutaway)_

Danny searched for a long while, and during that time, he found absolutely nothing dangerous. But, just as he was about to turn around and go home, his radar began beeping. It was a weak beep, but it was a beep. He followed the beat to the location.

He was especially stunned to see that it was coming from a very dark alley, with smelly black cats and boxes lying all over the place. But what really stunned him the most was who the beep was coming from.

He flew up to the shivering, cold, and weak figure, and nudged it slightly. "Danielle?" He whispered. Danny cleared the stuff surrounding the figure, and it was revealed to be indeed Danny's clone/cousin Danielle Phantom, created by possibly deceased Vlad Masters. She wasn't moving, but she was breathing. It was shallow breathing. "Danielle, wake up." He said again, this time a bit louder. This time, she did not hesitate to respond, only it wasn't what he expected.

Immediately, she jumped out and started swinging her arms around like a crazy maniac. She didn't stop for another few seconds. But she stopped once her vision cleared up and she saw it was only Danny standing there.

"Oh, Danny. It's…it's just you. It's just you." Danielle sighed in relief, then stood up and stretched her arms out as she yawned. She had clearly visible bags under her eyes, indicating sleep deprivation. "Sorry about that. I just haven't been myself lately."

"Danielle, what the hell happened to you?" He asked. "The last time I saw you, you were stabilized and just fine, flying off dramatically...again."

"Yeah, and that lasted for, like a few hours. One night, I was free to do whatever I want, and the next, I wake up with my muscles completely shot. I could barely move at all."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I wouldn't melt into goop or anything, but some days I'd wake up and fell totally wiped out. In fact, ever since you stabilized me, I've been stuck in my ghost form. Danny, I'm weak as all heck right now. Plus, I've kind of been getting nightmares."

"Nightmares?"

"Yeah. It's like, I know that Vlad's gone for good, but I can't help but think he could come back and attack me at any time. "

"Dani, you have nothing to worry about. Vlad stayed up there in space once he revealed his secret, so I doubt he's coming back."

"Yeah, but there's always that one hint of doubt, I guess. I haven't had a peaceful night's sleep in over a week. I'm sweaty, cold, tired; my heart's beating like a jack-hammer. I don't know whether that stabilizer stuff was tampered with or not, but I think it brought some side effects with it. Plus, there was this one time…"

"What?"

"Well, there was this one time…"

_(Cue Flashback)_

_The skies were pitch black, and while everyone decent was asleep, there were few people that were. Two, for instance, were a 30-year old burglar/virgin holding a 6-year old boy that is being dangled over the rooftop screaming for his life._

"_Scream all you want, you little maggot! Not even the city's bitch can save you now!" He snarled as the boy screamed louder. The fear was literally heard all across the town, but the burglar didn't care. All he wanted was the boy dead…and not to run into the ghost boy, Danny._

_Danielle, however, had other plans. She snuck up to him, while invisible, and gave him a nice sucker punch right in his spine. He shouted in pain, but still did not let go of the child. Danielle revealed herself to the burglar._

"_Put him down, now!" She yelled to him. "You do NOT want to get me upset!"_

"_Oh, really? And just what are __**you **__going to do about it??" He snickered._

"_This!" She held up both hands, which began glowing green and shot powerful Ecto-blasts at him. But, they were so strong they accidentally knocked him over the side of the building, with the boy still in his grasp. The burglar let go of the boy, and the two of them fell down 12 stories. Since the burglar was still in her sight, so she fired up another ghost ray, and shot it out of her hand towards him. But he spinned out the way in time and instead, the blst hit the boy and blasted him faster towards the ground. Danielle gasped, and tried to fly down and save him. But she did not make it in time, and he hit hard. She couldn't help but float there in horror at she saw the boy twitch while unconscious on the ground. She was too horrified and scared to pick him up and get him to a hospital. But luckily, an ambulance had come just minutes later to get the boy and the cops came to arrest the burglar. Danielle was still in shock._

"_Miss, are you alright?" A policeman asked Danielle. Luckily, she was famous for her heroics in that tow. But, she feared because of her lack of action, she would be shunned. So immediately, she fled the scene, not wanting to be shunned by the town._

_(End Flashback)_

"Whoa, that's major. Was he okay?"

"Was he OK? He fell off a 12-story building and hit his head on cement! No, he wasn't okay! He lived, if that's what you mean. But he's in a wheelchair for the rest of his life and it's because of me! And ever since that day, I've been afraid to use my powers in fear that I'll cost another innocent life. What should I do?"

Danny put his hand on Danielle's forehead, and then took it away in an instant. "Whoa! Danielle, you're burning up."

"I am?" She put her own hand on her forehead. "Wow, I really am. I haven't been full strength lately."

"Well one thing's for sure. There's no way in hell I'm letting you stay out here in the streets."

"But where am I supposed to go?"

"You can come home with me."

"Really? But, I thought your parents didn't know about your secret?"

"Well, now they do, and so does the rest of the world. It's a long story, and I'll explain on the way home." He picked up the weakened girl, and carried her in his arms as he took flight towards Fenton Works.

Along the way, Danielle had fallen asleep after Danny finished telling her the story about how his secret was revealed, and how Vlad could possibly be dead.

When they finally arrived home, Danny awakened her and readied her to meet her quote-unquote "Parents".

"Danielle, wake up. It's time to go in." He whispered as she slowly opened her eyes.

He turned himself intangible and went inside to find his parents, Jack and Maddie Fenton, and sister, Jazz, all in the living room. Jack was working on a new ghost invention, while Maddie and Jazz were watching TV.

"Danny!" Jack yelled as soon as Danny reverted from intangibility. "How was your night of ghost fighting? Catch anything?"

"Nah, it was a slow night. Just one ghost. Unless you count…" He walked over to the couch and laid Danielle down, who was about to fall asleep again. "…this one."

Jazz, Maddie, and Jack couldn't help but stare in astonishment at the little girl. She looked a lot like Danny, more than they could ever know. "Um, Danny?" Maddie soon said. "Who's your little friend?"

"Um, yeah. I've been meaning to tell you that. But to help me pass the time for our audience members who've already seen the series, here is a clip of a fat person falling down some stairs."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cut to a really fat person just walking along the hallway of the World Trade Center. But, when he gets to the staircase, he steps the wrong way and starts falling down the hundreds of flights of stairs, screaming._

"_AHHH!" He screamed as he fell, fell, fell. "OH MY GOD! OH MY-AHH! SAVE ME!! AHHH!"_

_He fell like that for what seemed like forever. One Hundred and Five flights of stairs over a full hour. When he finally got to the bottom of the stairs, he wrapped his arms around his left knee, and groaned several times before help finally came. Unfortunately, the 'help' simply kicked him in his lower groin and then fled the scene._

"_Come on, come on. Let's get the hell outta here before he gets up!" One of the policemen said as the other one was trying to start the car._

_(End Cutaway)_

"And that's how it all happened." Danny finally concluded. By the end of the bloopers clip, Danny had already explained to his family about how Vlad came to create his clone/cousin/sister, Danielle, and how she's finally been stabilized, but how something might've gone wrong with the Ecto-Dejecto that Danny used, since she is unable to change back to human form.

"Wow, I knew that guy was a fruitloop these last few years, but this takes the cake." Jack said after a brief silence. He looked at the haggard Danielle, seeing as she was sweating, tired, and if you were to listen carefully enough, you could hear her pounding heart going and going as her struggle to breath rose.

"Oh this isn't even the beginning. But more on that later. Right now, I think we should focus on Danielle. We should take her to a doctor to see why she can't change back." He took a quick look at Danielle, who was now breathing more heavily, taking quicker breaths, and sweating up a storm. "But first, we should probably put her to bed." Danny picked up the sleeping girl, and carried her up the stairs and put her in his bed. Then he walked out and shut the door, letting the halfa drift off into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Unfortunately, that didn't last long. Not even an hour later, after everyone had gone to sleep for the night, Danielle began to toss and turn in the bed, obviously striken with a nightmare.

_(Cue Dream Sequence)_

_Space, nothing but space surrounded her. There was blackness, blackness all around. Danielle had no idea where she was or how she got there, or for that matter, whether it was a dream or not. She was floating in the air, and tried to find a way out. But everything was just darkness._

_"Hello...!" Her voice echoed through the infinite nothingness. "Is anyone out there...?" She yelled again. No response. So she turned around and tried to run, but as soon as she did, she saw a huge face that belonged to a 6-year old boy. Specifically, the 6-year old boy that fell to his doom because Danielle couldn't save him in time. As soon as she saw his face, she screamed her head off. "AAAAHHHHHH...!"_

_(End Dream Sequence)_

"AAHHHH...!" She immediately woke up and screamed after that horrific dream of hers. She sat up and took a look around the room to see where she was, and she was happy inside to see she was still in Danny's room. She continued, though, to pant and rave harder. Taking short, quick breaths and her heart pounding harder and faster, she stood up and decided to travel downstairs and get a glass of water. Her eyesight was very blurry, so she had trouble making her way to the fridge. But when she did, she grabbed a small cup, poured herself a nice, cold glass of water, and proceeded to the table to drink a little bit.

Her arms were trembling so she couldn't pour a decent glass of water. She spilled some onto the table. So finally, she gave up after a few tries, and put her head down on the table for a few minutes of shut eye.

Though the rest of that night, she was tormented by that same nightmare, over and over again.

* * *

This went on until the very next morning. Early on, about 7 am, Danny had woken up to see if breakfast was ready yet. Instead, he found an ungracefully sleeping Danielle by the table. The pitcher of water still in her left hand, the half-full glass in her right hand, and water spilled all over the table. Danny walked over and shock her lightly to try and wake her up.

"Danielle? Wake up." He whispered, shaking her a bit. "It's time to wake up. Danielle?"

The halfa slowly lifted her head up, groaning. She opened her tired, weary, and bloodshot eyes, seeing her cousin/brother standing there trying to wake her up. "D-Da-Danny?"

"Danielle, what happened? I thought you were in bed?"

"I was, but I had a nightmare..."

"About that boy?"

"Yeah. So I woke up, and decided to take some water up with me. But I couldn't focus so I put my head down for a minute to rest, but then I had that same nightmare, over and over again, a half dozen times last night. I don't know if I got a wink of sleep at all."

"Wow, really?"

"Yeah. And it's like, every time I'd wake up, my heart would race, I'd sweat up a storm, my hands would tremble...Danny I don't know what to do."

"Well, come on, you should get up to bed. Come on, I'll help you." Danny helped his halfa cousin out of the chair, and helped her back upstairs, into the guest room in the opt-center. He put her in a nice, fresh pair of pajamas, and helped her into bed, then went downstairs, and came up a few moments later with a glass of water, and put it on her nightstand, and then went back downstairs, only to meet up with Jack on the staircase.

"Danny, everything OK?"

"Yeah, Danielle came down for a glass of water, but fell asleep, so I put her back to bed. She's in the guest room of the opt-center. Try not to disturb her today. She had a very bad night last night."

"Well do, Danny. But you know, we really should schedule a doctor's appointment for her. I don't like what's been happening with her lately."

"Yeah, you're probably right. But let's go to a real doctor this time, alright? Remember Jazz's last doctor's appointment?"

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cut to Jazz Fenton sitting on a patient's bench with the doctor ready to give her her physical exam._

_"Alright, Ms. Fenton, I'm just going to do a little reflex test. Just tell me when it starts hurting." He said to her. His voice sounded like that of a dweeb who's obsessed with Star Trek. He took out a little hammer and tapped her knee lightly. "Does that hurt?" She shook her head no. The doctor was taken aback a bit. "Really? OK, then. How about this?" He hit again, this time a bit harder._

_But again, Jazz shock her head no. This time, the doctor freaked out. "AAHH, psychopath! No mortal can resist thy hammer of justice!" He then dropped his clipboard and ran out of the room screaming, "ALIEN!" Several times. Later that day, he was arrested for citizen endangerment and child abuse...that last charge was for reasons unknown._

_(End Cutaway)_

**End of Chapter 1.**

**Yes, I did say this fanfic would be a crossover fanfiction. But I didn't say it would be in the first chapter. It'll probably happen in the next chapter or the chapter after that. But there will be a crossover and you will be pleased as to how it happens...not like the Jimmy/Timmy Power Hour Triolgy.**

**And if you think you know which show I'm crossing over into, tell me in your review! Though I think it is safe to say it's kind of obvious**

**Next Time: **The nightmares continue for Danielle, as do the dumb cutaways that keep up busy while they go off on a round table discussion. And a phsyical exam reveals more tragic news for our little ghost girl. But will good news for her change her attitude?

**Expected Update:** I'll try to get my next chapter up by December 16th, just in time for _The Biggest Loser: Families _Finale.


	2. Traumatized

**Danny Phantom**

**Road to Ghost Hell (Also Known As "Danny Phantom's Totally Awesome and Yet Strangely Queer Crossover Special")**

**Chapter 1: Traumatized**

**A/N: For those of you who are planning to watch the 10 year special of 'The Powerpuff Girls', do not get your hopes up. I saw it online, and although the graphics were slick and the storyline was great, I personally felt it was rushed and it didn't really capture the essance of a real milestone special. But again, that's just my opinion. Despite what I said last chapter, it really wasn't that bad. It just takes a little time to appreciate the hard work the PPG crew put into this special. But still, once you see it, I'm 99.9% positive that you'll think to yourself 'What the f-They take this show off the air for 2 1/2 years and _this_ is the best they could come up with in 22 minutes?'**

**TV-PG-DLV (This story is rated for some excessive violence, and a bit of inappropriate profanity)**

* * *

That same morning, Danielle was up in the opt-center, in the guest room, trying to get to sleep. But she was tossing and turning all over the place, but not because she was having a nightmare. No, this time it was simply because her mattress was too lumpy. So she jumped out of bed and lifted up her mattress, revealing thousands of little rocks, at least 10 pounds worth of rocks, taking up the space in her mattress.

She emptied the mattress of the rocks and then climbed back into bed. Lucky for her, the dreaded tragedy of that fateful night would not haunt her for that time.

* * *

Meanwhile, out on the roads, Jack Fenton was driving his SUV around the city, looking for any ghosts that might be causing any trouble to lighten the load on Danny.

Lately, the ghost activity was much lower than normal since they all pitched in to save the Earth from the Disasteroid. Though they still had a rivalry with Danny, they decided it wasn't worth all that extra trouble to hunt him down and kill him.

For about an hour, Jack drove around, looking for ghosts that might have the slightest motive to harm Danny. But, the streets were clean of any activity....

_CRASH!!_

...ghost activity.

But while Jack wasn't looking, he tried to slam onto the breaks before he hit an oncoming red sedan. But it was to no avail and the two cars slammed into each other. Though Jack and the other car weren't going any faster than 25 mph, it was still a pretty bad crash, with the fronts of both cars damaged, and both drivers upset.

The driver of the red sedan was revealed to be a fat person, no taller than 5'11'', white shirt, green pants, brown shoes, glasses, brown hair, just your average, everyday working man with a possible brain tumor.

"Hey, are you alright?" Jack asked the other guy.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good. My car ain't lookin' too fine, but it's not that one that needs to urinate every 5 hours." The other person replied, wiping the sweat from his eyebrows.

"What happened?"

"Oh, some idiot robbed my car of its brakes. I gotta tell you, they musta been really sneaky, 'cause almost nothing gets past me, especially when I'm doing something very important..."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cut to that very man, sitting in his house, watching TV and drinking a Pawtucket Patriot. He was watching the show 'Three's Company, with the volume up pretty high. Meanwhile, the whole time, there was someone outside, preferably, two of Danny Phantom's arch-enemies, Skulker, the ghost hunter, and Technus, the technical douche who always shouts out his plans. _

_While they began rummaging through, the fat guy turned up the volume on his TV to block out the noise, while Skulker and Technus ran away with the breaks and the cleft of his car._

_(End Cutaway)_

"Ooh, sorry to hear that. You know, just the other day, somebody robbed my refrigerator. But then again, I do have a giant appetite..oh well, nothing of any importance I need to worry about now. Anyway, I gotta go."

"What!? W-Why? Oh god, are you having another appetite attack again? Oh god!"

"No, I gotta-wait, what?"

"Y-You know? An-An appetite attack? 'Ca-Cause you're really fat?" Jack looked at the man funny. He was actually quite offended at this. "You know..fat guys get hungry more often than normal weight people. Y-You'd think with all that fat they'd come from Alaska? But the only place I saw them coming from are from lesbians?" But with that joke, the two fat men were off on an outrageous laughing fit. The two slapped their knees in enjoyment. "Ha! Oh, and get this? Why do people 'chew' bubblegum instead of 'suck' it?"

"I give up. Why?"

"Cause it already sucks enough. AHHH HAA!"

The two men continued laughing hysterically for about 3 and a half minutes. Then the two wiped away several tears that might've gone down their faces, and calmed down quickly.

"O-Oh boy. Dude, you are too funny. Oh god, I haven't heard jokes like those in years. Ja-Jack Fenton." Jack replied in between laughs, holding out his hand to shake.

"Peter Griffin." The two men shook hands. "Oh boy, you are funny."

"Yeah, you too. You from around here?"

"No no, I live a few towns over in Quahog."

"Quahog, Quahog. Isn't that in Rhode Island?"

"Oh. Oh, well...well what state is this? I- Thought, I thought this _was _Rhode Island?"

"Well, actually, we're in...oh, you know what, who cares, right? We're just two fat guys living it up, right? Ha, oh fat guys. I'm good. Anyway, I really gotta go."

"Why? W-We just met. And besides, you don't even have a car."

"That's right. I don't. I have an SUV, though. HA!" And the two broke out into laughter once again, though this one was shorter than before. "No, seriously though. I need to get going. And I've got myself a scooter." Jack went into the trunk of the car and pulled out a very small electric scooter that was equipped for a man of his weight. "Don't you worry about me."

"Well, what do ya have to do? Maybe I can help."

"Well, I have to go to my lawyer's office and get these adoption papers certified." Jack took out a bunch of papers and showed them to Peter. "I just found out of that I have an 'estranged' daughter that I've never seen in my life before, which I will explain later to you if I get the chance, and she's been living on the streets for years."

"Wow, that-I'm sorry, Jack. But that's gotta suck."

"It did for her. It's given her nightmares, and it's stressing her out like crazy. Maybe this'll help her relax a little."

"Wow, that's great. What's his name?"

"Um...Pee-wee."

"What!? Oh my go-you're kidding!? Pee-Wee!? You got that bastard!?"

"Why? What's wrong with him?"

"Dude, what the hell isn't wrong with him? Do you know he's been arrested? And by law, he isn't even allowed to get a job on the government side?"

"No, I did not."

"But listen, bro. I know an awesome lawyer back in Quahog and he'd be willing to take your case. He loves adoption cases."

"Really? Cool."

"Yeah. He also loves Scotch."

"Oh."

"Yeah. But like I said, he'd been willing to take your case. Here's his card." Peter handed Jack a little business card that read 'Jay McGraw, specialist in adoption'. His number was 297-8304

"Wow, you have his card. And a picture of him on the back. He a friend of yours?"

"No, he's my parole officer."

Jack stood in silence. "Parole officer?"

"Yeah, don't know how the hell _that_ happened."

"Wait, so y-you mean, you mean you've been to jail before."

"Four times, as a matter of fact. But you're bored, so I'll bore you even more another day when we're more acquainted and when it's not that close to 'Full House', and the fact that as I'm speaking to you right here, I'm breaking parole." And with that, the fat guy in the white shirt left the scene to leave Jack to stand there in some sort of confusion.

* * *

Over on the other side of town, over at the Amity Park clinic office, Danielle, Maddie, Danny, and Jazz awaited for Danielle's first ever physical exam. Danielle was a nervous wreck. She was never taught by Vlad what a physical exam was. The closest she ever got to one was being strapped to an examination table and being observed to see how her remains could be used for another Danny clone.

"I'm so nervous." Danielle whispered to Maddie.

"Don't be dear. They're just going to see how healthy you are. And if they're any problems, we'll deal with them." Maddie assured, patting Danielle's shoulder, trying unsuccessfully to calm her down.

It was a long 20 minute wait before Danielle was finally called in. "Fenton, Danielle?" A slightly portly doctor with a mustache called.

The family helped the shaken little girl into the doctor's office. "Danielle Fenton. Nice to finally meet you." The doctor took a firm grip of Danielle's hand and shook it. "I'm Dr. Hartman, and I will be administering the exam for you. We'll get started right away."

"We'll be outside if you need us for anything." Jazz assured as she, Danny, and Maddie walked out, leaving her alone with the doctor.

"Alright, Danielle, now if you'll jus step up onto this scale, I can measure your height and weight." Danielle did as told. She stepped onto the scale, as Dr. Hartman broguh down slowly a metal bar down to the tip of her head, measuring her height. Then he measured her weight. Danielle was scared the entire time, but Dr. Hartman assured her there was nothing to worry about. "Alright then. 4'8'', and 82 lbs. Hmm, that's a little bit low for someone of your height. But I see no reason for panic."

He helped her off the scale and back to the examination table, where he sat her down and examined her eyes, which were a little bloodshot, but no infection. Her ears also checked out negative.

Though her throat measured differently. It measured a strong positive for strep, and he noticed when he used his stethoscope that her heart was beating at a very fast pace, and that her lungs weren't working as well as they should be. He also took a small sample of her blood to test for any blood infections that might explain the nightmares, and the reason she is stuck in her ghost form.

Through many tests and through two tough hours, they were finally complete. Dr. Hartman brought Danny, Jazz, and Maddie into his office to discuss the results. They were in for one hell of a rude awakening.

"So, Doctor, how is our little girl? Healthy as an apple, I assume." Maddie said smugly, though Jazz and Danny knew better.

"Well, if you think she's a healthy little pumpkin, get ready to do some cryin'." He replied back, also smugly.

"W-What do you mean?"

"Well, I performed the full exam on her. Her eyes and ears checked out fine. Her blooded test no for infections. But she did test positive for strep throat."

"Oh dear me."

"Yes, and she also checked in a little on the underweight side. Is she getting in enough calories?"

"Well, we'd assume no since up until 2 days ago, she's been on the streets." Danny replied before Maddie could say something that might've screwed them over

"Well, that's a big thing. Calorie intake. Make sure you increase it so she doesn't go into starvation."

"Done."

"I also checked her heart & lungs, and I must say I was a bit perplexed by what I observed. Her heart rate measured a resting pace of 103 beats a minute, well over the normal pace. And her lungs weren't working properly. They were much smaller than a normal set of lungs which could explain her trouble breathing."

"Oh my god-"

"Now, you said that she experienced a traumatic past experience?"

"Yes, that's correct."

"Well, my guess here is that she has no medical cause for these things to be happening to her. It's all stress related. When she went through her traumatizing experience, she somehow convinced herself _she _was the cause of it happening in the first place. See, when a person suffers stress, there is usually an X factor that is the cause of it, and hers is the traumatic experience she went through. That, in turn, causes the body to react in a certain way, which varies for each individual. For Danielle, it is causing her organs to slowly shut down. Her arteries are clogging, her heart is working more, causing her lungs, brain, kidneys to work harder than ever, which could explain the fatigue & fever."

"So what do you suggest we do?"

"Well right now, I'd suggest trying to comfort her as much as possible. Take her mind off of her experience. Maybe that'll calm her down. Otherwise, if her stress levels continue growing at this alarming pace, I fear it will take a toll on her heart and eventually cause it to stop completely."

"Well that sounds painful, but it also sounds like it could take a while." Jazz informed, with worry in her voice.

"I'm afraid it's the only way to reverse this. But, if that doesn't work, you could always join the circus. I hear Andy Dick stopped visiting those things." Dr. Hartman's face suddenly face fell when he realized what he just said. "Oh god, bad doctor!" He hit himself in the head. "Bad doctor! Pull yourself together, Hartman! You don't want to end up in another lawsuit like you did with O.J. Simpson."

* * *

So later that day, they all returned home. Danielle went right to bed, put on clean P.J's, and went to sleep in the bed in the guest room of the opt-center.

When Jack returned later that day, he sat down with Maddie, Jazz, and Danny about the adoption papers.

"So Jack, how'd it go?"

"Well, so far so good. My lawyer might've been fake, but the adoption papers aren't. I think we could pull this off after all."

So after that long meeting, the whole family went up to the opt center with the adoption papers. They gently awoke Danielle from a somewhat peaceful nap.

"Oh Danielle, we've got a surprise for you." Danny said in a sing-song tone, handing her the folder with the papers in them. Obviously, she was in no mood for surprises. But, her attitude quickly changed once she saw the papers.

"Ad-Adoption papers!? What in the world is this!?"

"Well, Dani, the family's been talking," Jack started.

"-and we just couldn't sit back and watch you suffer just over a little mistake you made." Jazz continued.

"And there's no way in hell we're letting you go back onto those streets to fend for yourself!" Danny continued, a mixture of anger, sympathy, and hope in his voice.

"So we all pitched in and we're making your certification into our family official. When this is all over, you'll officially be a Fenton, with a brother & sister & two parents who care enough for you to make sure you have a healthy & happy life."

"Really!?"

"Yep!"

Danielle held the papers close to her heart. This meant more to her than anyone could ever imagine. She dashed over to them and gave them each a big, warm bear hug. "Oh thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou! You don't know what this means to me! I-"

"Whoa there, kiddo." Jack halted, grabbing the ecto-brat and putting her on the ground to relax. "It's not official yet. That...that was the other part of the news."

"What news?" Danny asked his father.

"We...kind of need to move out of Amity Park..."

"What!?" Jazz yelled.

"Jack!" Maddie screamed.

"Are you outta your ghost-hunting, gun-making, goddamn mind!?" Danny mouthed in rage, but then covered his mouth when he realized what he had said, though the family didn't pay attention.

"Look, it-it's not for good. But, it's just, uh...well, my lawyer sucked. Turns out it was pee-wee."

"What!?"

"Ah, dad! Pee-Wee!?" Danny once again yelled. "How'd you get stuck with that queer!?"

"Don't ask, Danny. Anyway, I found a new lawyer and he can take our case. In a couple of weeks, Danielle will be an official Fenton and everything will be as normal as it can get here."

"Great. But, uh...where are we going?" Danielle asked her 'father', who suddenly caught himself off-guard. He had forgotten where they needed to move. Well, actually, he hadn't forgotten, but he was unsure how to tell them.

**End of Chapter 1!**

**Next Time: Chapter 2! **The Fentons set out on a cross-country adventure to the most dysfunctional town in the USA, and meet up with the most dysfunctional family of our time.

**Expected Update: **Well, since I got done in just under 4 days, I'll make the due date December 18th, or thirteen days.


	3. A New Adventure

**Danny Phantom**

**Road to Ghost Hell (Also Known As "Danny Phantom's Totally Awesome and Yet Strangely Queer Crossover Special")**

**Chapter 2: A New Adventure**

**A/N: For those of you who are planning to watch the 10 year special of 'The Powerpuff Girls', do not get your hopes up. I saw it online, and although the graphics were slick and the storyline was great, I personally felt it was rushed and it didn't really capture the essance of a real milestone special. But again, that's just my opinion. Despite what I said last chapter, it really wasn't that bad. It just takes a little time to appreciate the hard work the PPG crew put into this special. But still, once you see it, I'm 99.9% positive that you'll think to yourself 'What the f-They take this show off the air for 2 1/2 years and _this_ is the best they could come up with in 22 minutes?'**

**A/N: And yes, it was kind of obvious that I was crossing over with Family Guy since early prologue. But, now it's time to see just how far I can take this baby! Keep R&R'ing!**

**And Most Importantly, Enjoy!**

**TV-PG-DLV (This story is rated for some excessive violence, and a bit of inappropriate profanity)**

* * *

_**1 Week Before The Disasteroid... (A/N: The following scene takes place exactly one week before the events of 'Phantom Planet' and seven weeks before the actual story begins. I was originally going to put this part at the beginning, but...that never happened. So...here you go)**_

**_Somewhere in Wisconsin_**

Vlad Masters's Mansion. It is known to be the biggest mansion in Wisconsin, and one of the biggest in all of the world. Though he cheated his way to many fortunes & billions of dollars in business, one of the few things he didn't cheat to get was cheap classical entertainment.

Arriving at the front door of his mansion arrived Quahog's very own New Pack Rat, consisting of Rhode Island favorites, Brian Griffin, a talking dog with the intelligence of a genius human, Stewie Griffin, a 1-year old baby who also has the intelligence of a genius, but the common sense of a cockroach, bent on matricide, and Frank Sinatra Jr. classical musician legend.

"God, why the hell did I agree to this?" Stewie mumbled angrily, knocking on the big door of the mansion.

"Steiwe, you know as well as we do that Vlad Masters is the only sponser to the Quahog Cabana Club." Brian told the baby, also in a bit of upset rage. "Even though I'm crazy about the idea of performing for him every single week either, if we wanna keep the club open, it's our sworn duty."

Suddenly the big doors opened, revealing Vlad with a smile on his face, happy to see that his weekly variety had arrived. "Ah, the Rat Pack. Come in, Come in. I was beginning to worry." Vlad led them into his study room, where there were microphones set up for them, as Vlad set himself up and his pet cat, Maddie, to listen to them perform.

Every week, Vlad would invite the Rat Pack from Rhode Island to have them perform for him to see if they were worthy of keeping the Cabana Club. Since Vlad Masters was their only sponser at the time, the fate of the club all depended on his review. If he were to somehow...oh I don't know, die of an asteroid crash or left Wisconsin for some reason, then his sponsership would be dropped.

The only problem with this scenario was...he only requested one song each week, and 90% of the time it was the same song over and over and over: **When we Swing. (An obvious reference to the Family Guy episode 'Brian Sings & Swings)**

Since Vlad already had a recording of their band playing to this song, they never had to worry about bring their band along with them. The tune that played on that player was an upbeat jazz/classical tune, slightly faster than normal, to which Stewie & Frank began dancing to since they had the first lines.

_**Frank:** How I love a girl who's flawless  
**Stewie:** Even better when she's bra-less.  
**Both: **But the thing that topes it all is when we swing._

Vlad may have been stubborn, but he sured enjoyed it when they sang that song. It reminded him of his love for Maddie Fenton and it was the closet thing he had to knowing what a real relationship was about.

_**Frank: **How I love a glass of Jack  
**Stewie: **Or anything with Robert Stack.  
**Both: **But the gals we romance, can't stay out of our pants  
When we Swing!_

At that moment in the song, Brian had come into the picture and climbed onto Mayor Master's desk to enlighten the mood.

_**Brian: **Yesterday had got me feelin' kind of blue...  
**Stewie: **So you left and we replaced you with a Jew..._

Just then, Jerry Lewis popped out of nowhere.

_**Jerry: **Lady!  
**Stewie: **You're fired!  
**Jerry: **Oy!_

_**Frank:** We love it when the ladies squeeze us  
**Brian:** That's an easy way to please us.  
**All Three: **But we feel like freakin' Jesus  
When we swing._

By this time, Brian and Stewie had thrown their microphones into the air, and in different directions, so while the music was playing towards their next lines, they each ran under than microphones and caught them and slid across the floors for dramatic effect.

_**Brian:**I love the work of Alan Funt!  
**Stewie: **Or a nicely shaven leg.  
**All Three: **But nothing compares to the feeling that we get...!  
No nothing compares  
To the feeling we get  
When we Swing...!_

The song ended abrutly, and Mr. Masters applauded them with a slow, dramatic clap (god knows why, and not the sexually-diseased one) "Bravo, gentlemen. Bravo." He said as he clapped. "Your best performance yet."

"Um, thanks?" Frank replied with a hint of uncertainty in his voice. Well, why wouldn't he? They've played that same song for him every week for the past 5 weeks.

After they had finished performing, Frank went up to Vlad, who was about to drink a shot of scotch.

"Um, Mr. Masters, sir," He said, as Vlad was about to drink. "I, uh, hope I'm not crossing the line by asking this, but-"

"Oh no, not at all. Go ahead. Ask away."

"OK then. Uh...why do you make us sing you the same song almost every single week?"

"Excuse me?"

"Not that I have a problem with that song. It's just...I'm perplexed as to why you particularly love that one out of all the songs we perform."

"Well, Mr. Sinatra, you really must understand, it's not entirely up to you what songs you perform for me. Besides," Vlad's face fell. "I haven't had a relationship in my forty-two years of existances so that song is the closest thing I'll ever have."

"Wow, that's pretty sad."

"Quite. Now, how would you gentlemen like to join me for some wine?"

"Sure."

"OK."

"What the hell? I'm in."

So Vlad led them into his dining room and had one of his butlers (yes, he has a butler) prepare them some wine, as they proposed a toast to another week of business.

"So gentlemen, I must say I am curious: If there was one song performer out there in the world who you despised so much, who would it be?" Vlad asked them all.

"Michael Jackson." Brian immediately replied. "Especially after his court trial on the child molestation charges and all those surgeries he did on his nose."

"Oh definitely." Frank agreed. "Especially when he does his self-groin treatment on stage in front of thousands of people, some of the adolescents. What about you, Stewie? Who do you hate the most?"

"Tommy Tutone."

"Tommy Tutone!?"

"Yes, he is insufferable. Especially after that song of his '867-5309'." He pulled out a telephone and dialed up those numbers. "8-6-7-5-3-0-9. Look, nothing happened. See? And yet he distinctively--"

"_Thank you._" A voice on the other side of the line said. "_You have just taken the first step into becoming one of us!_"

"Brian, please tell me that was you."

"_You have chosen to leave behind the old American Way and exact your revenge on those who have put in their efforts to keep the sickening country called America a safe place to live. You have chosen to leave America and become a member of the exclusive Al-Qeada terrorist group located between the boarders of Pakistan and Afganistan, and led by #1 most wanted terrorist in America, Osama bin Laden. If you would like to speak to a representative of the Al-Qeada terrorist group, please press one now!"_

As Stewie held the phone, his jaw dropped to the table. The phone was on speaker, so Frank, Vlad, and Brian also heard the entire thing, causing their jaws to drop as well.

"_If you would like to speak to Osama bin Laden himself, please press two, now!_"

After a moment of complete silence, Stewie then hung up the phone quickly. Then they spent the next few moments exchanging confused glances at each other, trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

"You do not. Speak of this. To _Anyone_!" Stewie roared, grinding his teeth together, as the four agreed solemnly to never mention what had just happened to anyone ever again. Later, Frank, Brian, and Stewie took their weekly payment checks and left Vlad's mansion to make their way back to Rhode Island.

* * *

_Amity Park, Present Day..._

The Fentons were just about to set out on their newest adventures: finalizing the adoption papers for Danielle. In order to do this, though, they had to go to a place called Quahog, Rhode Island. They weren't sure how long they'd be gone. But they knew that in the end, it would all be worth it for Danielle. Danny was saying this last goodbyes to his friend, Tucker, and his girlfriend, Sam.

"This sucks! I can't believe you'll be gone for 2 whole weeks." Sam said as Danny was about to get into the Fenton RV.

"Yeah, well maybe this'll be good for all of us, Sam. I mean, we spend all our time here in Amity Park, even on vacations, and Danielle's a nervous wreck as it is. There's no way she's in any shape to fight any ghosts. Besides, if we wanna keep her off the streets, we kind of have to do this."

"Oh Danny. It seems like yesterday we were finally starting to get our relationship on the road, and now we won't be seeing each other for a whole fortnight!"

"It'll be alright, Sam. Look, we've got our cell phones, we can text message each other everyday, OK? It'll be just like I'm still here, only with no kissing." He made Sam chuckled, and then gave her a kiss before setting out. "Now remmeber, you watch Tucker's House. Tucker," He turned to his other friend. "You watch my house in case anyone tries to break in. And Carrot Top," He turned to Carrot Top, who, for some unknown reason, was standing there. "You watch Tucker to make sure he doesn't rent any dirty movies after 10 pm while we're gone. OK?"

"Sure thing, Danny-boy!" Carrot Top said in an extremely overly-happy tone. "But I have a life too, you know. You know with my comedy routine, and all that. So when I'm not here, I'll have a friend of mine watch him." He took out a saw, one used for cutting, but this one had glasses on it. "See? He's got hawk eyes, _and _can build a treehouse. I call him my 'see-saw'."

A couple of seconds of silence passed. Neither Tucker nor Sam found Carrot Top's 'See-saw' joke funny. But Danny was a different story.

He began laughing hysterically and kept it going for a full 30 seconds. "You are so f*cking funny! Oh, you are so...Goddamn you for being so funny! Oh! Ha, oh my god. See-saw!? See-sa-that is so funny, dude. You are just hillarious!" Danny started making his way towards the Fenton RV. "Oh god bless you for your talent! Ah boy...ok, see you guys in two weeks. And remember Sam, if I catch you in my house making-out with another guy, I'll kill you both." (**A/N: The Carrot Top bit was a reference to the Family Guy episode 'Petergist', and Danny's last line was a reference to 'Brian Sings and Swings'.**)

* * *

Hours later...the Fentons were well on the road to Rhode Island. They had already been on the road for 2 1/2 hours, and had stopped already for two bathroom breaks and a lunch break.

Now that all of that was taken care of, they were determined to get to Rhode Island before sundown so they could settle in and get their objective completed.

All the while, though, Danielle was having that same nightmare over and over. Even well into the trip, she could barely sleep a wink without being haunted by that dream...

_(Cue Dream Sequence)_

_Danielle was once again floating in emptyness. Pitch black nothingness. Nothing with her but the clothes on her back, her ghost powers, and her dignity. She tried to turn around and float away, but once again she met up with that big floating head. The head of the boy that was hurt that fateful night._

_"Why...!" The boy moaned, his voice echoing into Danielle's fragile eardrums. "Why did you let me fall!?"_

_"It wasn't my fault! I was trying to save you! I-"_

_"Why did you let me fall!? Why did you let me fall?" He continued to ask the same question over and over again, and it was driving Danielle insane. She tried to fly in all directions, but every time, she met up with the boy, and he continued to moan that burning question. Finally, she let out a loud scream, and woke up._

_(End Dream Sequence)_

"_AHHHH...!!"_ Danielle screamed as she sat up. Earlier during the carride, she fell asleep and was lying on a pillow bunched up against Danny's knee. But it was only for about an hour before her nightmare came back. Now, she was living in more fear than ever. Sweating puddles, heart racing, blood pressure through the roof: she was living on sleep deprivation, drawing on reserves of energy she never knew she had, being stuck in ghost form and unable to change back to her true human form.

"Danielle, are you alright?" Danny asked as Danielle was gasping for air.

"Look at me, Danny. I'm a nervous wreck, and it's all because of the stupid nightmare! Do I look like I'm alright?"

"Sorry. Standard question."

This was going to be one hell of an adventure. But they had no idea just how bizzare things could and would get where they were going.

**End of Chapter 2!**

**Well, that concludes this chapter. It contains nearly 3,000 words, but it seems so short. Well, it's because I'm saving the big stuff for later. But because I'm such a nice guy, I'm giving you a sneak peek of my next chapter, which should be done soon enough!**

**Next Time:**

_Danielle turned on the shower and let the hot water soak her skin. Danny had told her that showering under hot water when under a lot of stress would ease up your muscles. So she took his advice._

_Unfortunately, her shower was short lived when one of their new neighbors popped their weasely little heads through the window of the bathroom, and spied on Danielle._

_"Welcome to the neighborhood, gorgeous." The perverted man said to her. "I'm not sure which cheek to pinch, so I'll leave the choice to you!" __This little harassment caused Danielle to scream._

**That's next time!**

**Expected Update: **December 21st, exactly 14 days from today.


	4. Moving for Morons

**Danny Phantom**

**Road to Ghost Hell (Also Known As "Danny Phantom's Totally Awesome and Yet Strangely Queer Crossover Special")**

**Chapter 3: How to Move in Next Door to a Retarded Fat Guy, by Blackspiderman**

**Enjoy!**

**TV-PG-DLV (This story is rated for some excessive violence, and a bit of inappropriate profanity)**

* * *

Meanwhile, over across Rhode Island, in Quahog, Spooner Street, 31 Spooner Street to be exact, lived a not-so normal dysfunctional family just like the Fentons. They were known as the Griffins. They consisted of Peter Griffin, 43, 293 lbs, 5'11'' of the Pawtucket Brewery, and his wife, Lois, 41 years, married to him for 20 years.

Together they had three kids: Meg, the oldest, and the most disrespected of the entire family and even some of Peter's neighbors ("Meg is my least favorite of your children." Cleveland once said in the episode **Hell Comes to Quahog**.), Chris, 14 years old, is a retard like his father, and Stewie, the youngest, and who has already been introduced earlier, is a matricidal baby bent on ruling the world when he grows up.

They also have a dog, Brian, also introduced earlier.

He arrived home holding some money in his hand, and yet he was still depressed. He took a seat on the couch and turned on the TV.

"_Tonight on CBS: The Late Show with David Letterman, with special guest, President-elect Barack Obama."_

And with that, Brian shut off the TV, not wishing to hear or see anything to do with politics. Not that he disliked Obama or anything. He just wasn't in the mood for that. He was too depressed, and Lois saw that as soon as she walked in.

"What's the matter, Brian?" She asked as soon as she sat down on the couch next to her. "Another rough week at the Cabana Club?"

"Oh no, Lois." Brian began sarcastically. "It was wonderful. There were lots of friendly faces, Frank and I even met up with Senator Barack Obama. And I'm engaged to Jennifer Hudson!" He handed her the money. "And I'm swimming in loot."

"Brian, there's only $140 here."

"Yeah, don't you think I know that!? I gotta tell you, Vlad Masters is being a real douchebag. Ever since that disasteroid incident and where that Phantom kid...god, what was his name, uh..."Inviso-bill"? Anyway, ever since, he's totally been ignoring us! Even the Senate of Wisconsin dropped their sponsership with us!"

"But didn't you and Frank buy the club? I mean, you don't really need a sponser to keep it up and running?"

"Well, legally no. But, but in that scenario, we're relying on donations from people, Lois. We need money coming in to have money going out. Luckily our fans have been generous lately. Except for the homeless guys."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cut to Brian counting a load of money in his hand, when a homeless guy in raggy clothes shows up next to him._

_"Hey, you songs were great." The homeless guy said in a dry tone. "Here, take this as a token of my appreciation." Brian held out his hand with the stack of money, and the homeless guy placed a white, blank piece of paper only slightly bigger thank a dollar bill._

_"Um, this isn't money."_

_"No. It's whatever you want it to be. Your imagination, your money, your life."_

_"I-I don't-I don't-"_

_"Your imagination. Your rmoney. Your life."_

_"Sir, there's the exit. Have a nic-"_

**_POW!_**

_Brian was sucker punched by the homeless guy, who then proceeded to take the stack of money and run with it, unseen by anyone else._

_(End Cutaway)_

"I'm telling you Lois, we need to find a new sponserfor the Quahog Cabana Club, or we're as good as screwed." Brian stood up and walked out of the kitchen and found Stewie at the table, eating. Brian tossed Stewie some money. "Hey Stewie, payday."

He caught the money and was very displeased with the results. "$70! What the hell? I know business was bad, but come on, this is just painful."

"I know, we're sinking fast!"

"Oh, when I get my hands on that cat-bathing bastard Vlad Masters, I'm gonna wring his neck dry of water, and all that other fluid crap we humans need to survive."

"I know, I'm angry too. But Masters is nowhere to be found No one here knows what happened to him. And Mayor West claims that he decided to become a suicidal astronaunt, plunge himself into space, and then take off his spacesuit."

"It's funny though. As idiotic and unrealistic that sounds, it actually makes sesne. Such a historic moment since most of the things that imbecile says makes no sense."

"True."

"By the way, have you seen that little bitch Lois? I need to make a #1 and she's nowhere to be found."

"She's in the living room with Peter."

"What's that queer up to this time? He's not trying to blow up someone's house is her? 'Cause that's _my _job!"

"Nah, he's looking out the window to see if our new neighbors are coming today."

"Wait, we're expecting new neighbors? That way today? The fat man told us not for another week!"

"Yeah, Peter's not really good with dates."

"Clearly." Stewie jumped down from his highchair and then ran upstairs past Lois and Peter. He wasn't heard from again until the new neighbors would come just a few moments later.

Meanwhile, Lois was growing concerned for her husband as to why he was watching outside the window so intensely. "Peter, why are you watched outside the window so intensely?"

"Because, Lois, Joe told me that we're expecting our new neighbors today. I just want to make sure they're not total psychopaths or sex offenders or any of that crap. I know better this time, and I know exactly who it is."

"Oh Peter, isn't it great that you're re-uniting with an old college buddy?"

"No, I crashed into his car the other way and introduced him to my parole officer." Peter said gleefully, causing Lois to sulk. "I don't know who the hell he is, but based on his rant on 'ghosts', I'd say he's either homicidal or gay."

"Well then how do you explain_ that?_" Lois asked, pointing to Maddie Fenton as she and the rest of her family was stepping out of the Fenton RV, after having just arrived in the neighborhood.

"Simple. Sister."

"Then explain those three kids."

"See, I have this method I use for determining the status of new neighbors, and it all has to do with how many kids there are and how old they are. See, the older girl appears 17, so she's been adopted, the boy is 15, so his paternal father was Jewish, and the younger girl appears 12, so she must've escaped from a cult when she was 7, then went on to rape Jerry Louis."

"And you get this information...from where?" A perplexed Brian asked.

"Now Brian, us latinos never reveal their secrets."

"Ugh! Peter, you are unbelivable." Lois said.

"Yeah, this is even worse than when you were convicted of being a false doctor."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cut to a room with two woman, one of them being pregnant, and the other on the phone, and a man next to the pregnant woman, helping her push her baby out._

_"Roger, the ambulance isn't here yet!" The lady, named Angela, yelled to the man, who was named Roger._

_"Damn! U-Alright, alright. Carol-" He turned to the pregnant woman, whose name was Carolyn. "You're going to have to push Push!"_

_The pregnant lady grunted and groaned and screamed the entire time. The baby slowly started popping out and Roger was right there to see it. After ten minutes of grueling contractions, the baby finally came out. It was a beautiful baby boy._

_"Carol, it's a baby boy. Congratulations." Roger said, tearfully. He handed Carol the baby, and she held it with joy._

_"A baby boy? Oh my god, I'm so happy! I'm gonna name him after my great grandfather, Trevor." She said also tearfully, and hugged the little boy like she hasn't seen him in years._

_But then, just as the moment arrived, it vanished, as Peter Griffin, a temporarily certified pregnancy expert came bursting through the door, holding all sorts of equipment that was used for torture of terrorists instead of helping a pregnant woman. "Sorry I'm late, folks."_

_"Finally. Well, you're too late." Roger said dryly. "The baby's already o-"_

_"Sir, sir, sir, please." Peter replied completely cutting Roger off, making him upset. "I think I know what I'm doing!"_

_"But the ba-"_

_"We better hurry up and get this thing out!" Peter put on some gloves._

_"The baby's already out! You're late!"_

_"Sir, I am a prefessional, so why don't you take your tired ass home so I can help this baby!?"_

_"This **is** my home!"_

_"Don't wanna listen? Fine!" Peter then proceeded to push Roger out of the way to the ground, and then grabbed the little baby and actually tried to shove the baby back into Carol's vagina, causing her to scream. He was struggling with the head. "Wh-Why the hell won't this thing go in-oh that's enough." Peter stopped suddenly. "Alright, let's get this thing o-ohhhhh." His eyes suddenly lit up with realization. "**That **was the baby?" Carol, Angela and Roger all nodded, with anger, frustration, but mostly anger. "Ohhhh. That make sense. That giant ball must be his head, and the other little balls must be his cubicals. Ah, now it makes much mo-" He turned around to leave when he was stopped by a gun nozzle. Roger was standing there, holding up a big shotgun. His teeth were grinding. "Oh, are you mad about th-"_

_"**SHUT UP! **Ok, just shut the hell up! It's bad enough you were twenty minutes late! But to shove an innocent baby back into her-oh you are just the biggest fucking douchebag I have ever met up in my life."_

_"I hump fat lady?"_

_"I ought t-wait, what?"_

_"I hump pregnant lady?"_

_"Y-You mean Carol?"_

_"I have sex with her then asphixiate baby?"_

_"NO! Just get the baby out of her vagina and save him before he suffocates!"_

_"I have sex with **you **then asphixiate baby, then watch two ladies have sex with each other?"_

_"What the hell are you? Some kind of retard."_

_A moment of silence. "House keeping?"_

_**Boom! **_

_Roger shot Peter in the head, and then after getting the baby safely out of Carol (Again), the three of them left the scene and left Peter for dead._

_Later that week, Peter was sentenced to 82 years in prison for attempted murder of a minor, faking being a professional doctor, sexual harassment, and battery & assault, but was released on a $2.5 Million bail posted by an annonymous source. Roger, Carol, & Angela were each sentenced to 12 years in prison on the charges of leaving the scene of a crime and not reporting it to police, and attempted murder. Though they got out on a $50,000 (Roger), $80,000 (Carol), and $100,000 (Angela) bail respectively. Carol's baby also died from suffocation the following day due to being placed back in Carol's vagina for so long._

_(End Cutaway)_

Meanwhile, across the street, the Fentons were about to settle into their new home. They opened the front door, and welcomed themselves to their temporary new home.

Their new home consisted of three bedrooms, one for Jack & Maddie, one for Jazz, & one for Danny & Danielle. The family unpacked their bags into their new rooms.

"Boy, this is the life." Jack said. "Nothing but the clothes on our backs and the dignity we stand for."

"Dad, we're a ghost hunting family that's mocked from here to Tibet." Danny replied dryly.

"Yes, but we're mocked _with _pride."

"Oh dad..."

"I don't know about you two blubberheads, but I'm going to take a shower." Danielle said, making her way to one of the two bathrooms in the home.

"Why?"

"Because Danny told me taking a hot shower when suffering stress eases your muscles." She left the room, taking with her one of Danny's bathrobes and a towel.

As soon as she stepped into the bathroom, and got herself ready for the shower, she turned on the shower and let the hot water soak her skin. Danny had told her that showering under hot water when under a lot of stress would ease up your muscles. So she took his advice.

Unfortunately, her shower was short lived when one of their neighbors, local pervert, Glenn Quagmire, popped his weasely little head through the window of the bathroom, and spied on Danielle.

The perverted man then broke the silence and said to her, "I'm not sure which cheek to pinch, so I'll leave the choice to you, gorgeous!" This little sexual harassment about her, uh...you-know-what (her rear end, and if you didn't figure it out you're a homosexual) caused Danielle to scream. The screams were heard through the entire house, from her family.

"That sounded like Danielle!" Maddie yelled as they all started running up towards the bathroom. The rest of the family went to get ghost weapons since they all thought it was a ghost, while Danny pressed on upstairs, not about to lose his new future sister.

"Oh no you don't, ghost!" He yelled as he slid towards the doorway of the bathroom. A white ring formed around his body, as he pulled his hand back, ready to charge up a ghost ray. But just as the ring seperated into two and traveled up and down his body and finished his transformation, he realized it wasn't a ghost. "False alarm, guys! It's just a sexual predator. Wait a minute, that ain't a false alarm!"

"Hey, a little privacy please!?" Yelled Quagmire, as he was in the process of slapping Danielle's rear end, like the pervert he is. "I was in the middle of attempted to seduce this attractive little whore! I was gonna slap her ass with a riding crop then play tea party with it, and then I was gonna take pictures of it and post it on Myspace. She would've been the 793rd woman I've ever had sex with!"

"What!?" Danielle screamed in horror, still covering herself with her towel.

"Dude, you are sick, you sex offender!" Danny yelled.

"Well yes, I am. But that's me. I am just a sick person. But let's get something straight, you bastard! I. Am. Not. A. Sex Offender. in RhodeIsland. Only in Michigan." He smirked as if he had just won a Gladiators match. Danny was quickly getting aggrivated by this, and soon did not hesitated, and he resumed firing a ghost ray at Quagmire. The blast was not using all of Danny's power. Only about 30%, but it was enough to push Quagmire out of the window, anddown to the ground.

"Dad, call the cops. There was a sex offender in our house harassing Danielle!" Danny echoed as he flew out the window and towards the ground, tackling Quagmire again, shoving him at least 3 feet into the concrete of the street. "You're going down, punk!"

"Oh and _you're _not? Come on, you just attacked me outta nowhere. Really, who do you think the police are gonna believe, huh? A snot-nosed little cretan like you? Yeah, pretty obvious here!"

_One minute, thirty-six seconds later..._

The police had arrived in front of the Fentons' house, and had arrested Quagmire on charges on sexual harassment on a minor, attempted rape, and breaking and entering. Quagmire would be facing up to 27 years in prison on these charges if convicted.

"You son of a bitch." Quagmire mouthed to Danny as he was shoved into the back of the police car, and driven over to the police station, while the rest of the neighbors, including the Griffins, and now the Fentons, stayed behind to contemplate what just happened. Danielle was joining her family outside, and thankfully, was now wearing clothes.

"Uh, listen, I'm real sorry our neighbor, Quagmire, um...harassed your younger daughter." Peter said apologetically. "He, kind of can be a nut, sometimes. After all, he's had sex with every woman on this block except for my wife."

"Oh that's OK." Jack replied, knowing for a fact that it wasn't OK. "Well, it wasn't OK that he harassed Danielle while she was showering, but for the moment he's in jail, and that's all that matters."

"Oh don't worry, bub. If Quagmire's really the nut I've come to know, and that cop who arrested him was a Puerto Rican chick, then he should be out in say, a couple of hours."

"Joy." Danielle mouthed to herself.

"Anyway, since we're out here, I might as well introduce you to the family. Um, I'm Peter Griffin, and this is my wife, Lois, we've been married for twenty years. These are my sons, Chris,"

"Monkeys throw their poo! AHAHAHAHAHAH!"

"And this is Stewie."

"Ooh, he's so cute!" Danielle joyously reacted, attempting to pinch his cheek. "How old is he?"

"None of your fucking business. Now change me!" He yelled to her face, crossing his arms and giving Danielle the stare of the devil. She was taken aback by this quite a bit, as was Danny.

"Oh, and this is Brian." Peter said, pointing to his dog. "He's very good with literature."

"It's true. In fact, allow me to recite one for you." Brian took out a book and opened to a specific page, and began reading aloud. "_There once was a man in Peru, who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He awoke with a fright in the middle of the night, to find that his dream had come true._" (**Taken from Spongebob Squarepants "Sleepy Time"**)

"So...it's about an Australian hooker?" Peter asked stupidly, once again not thinking about what he was saying, causing Brian to glare angrily.

"What the hell does Australia have to do with this poem? Besides, t-the first line of the poem says "A man from _Peru_."

"...so you're saying that we need to go invade Iran?"

"Uhh!"

"And uh, who's that?" Jazz asked, pointing to Meg. Peter had completely forgotten about her.

"Oh, oh sorry. Where are my manners?" Peter said politely, and then proceeded to punch Meg's lights out He had 'forgotten' to do that. "So, anyway, who are these little _bastards_?" He whispered the word 'bastards' so Jack couldn't hear.

"Oh, this is my daugher Jazz, my son Danny, my other daughter Danielle, and my wife Maddie. We're ghost hunters."

"Yeah, and I can bowl an average of 182" Danny said proudly, though by the expression on Peter's face, it seemed like at the moment, he didn't really care.

"Oh my god. Who. The Hell. Cares??" And he was right.

"Hey, don't talk to my brother like that." Jazz defended. "Did you know his dream is to become an astronaut? And that they only choose 100 people every 2 years to go up into space?"

Peter at first seemed astonished by this amount of trivia, shown by his blank expression. But, his next words, "OK, this girl is seriously sucking the fun out the air. If I break her neck, but I make it seem like an accident, would I be charged with manslaughter or murder?" said otherwise that he didn't give a crap. "And, and how old is this little twit?" Peter asked about Danielle.

"She's twelve." Maddie replied, with a little hint of uneasiness in her voice.

"Really?"

"Yeah. There a problem?"

"No problem. But I read this fortune cookie the other day that said '_Possible Middle-School Lesbian will visit neighborhood._" That statement right there was enough to make Danielle's jaw drop. "_And _that I'd fall in love with Rose O' Donnell, but hasn't hapened yet. In fact, I've actually contemplated thoughts of killing her. So, uh...just, um...gonna go over there..." Peter saw the angry expressions on everyone's face, so he started tip-toeing away so he wouldn't cause anymore trouble.

_Two Hours later..._

Peter was waiting outside for the mail to arrived, when all of a sudden, his neighbor, Glenn Quagmire, who was arrested earlier, shows up J-walking down the sidewalk.

"Hey Peter!"

"Quagmire, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, me? Turns out the chick that arrested me was a Buddist chick!"

"Buddist, huh? Coulda sworn she was Puerto Rican..."

"No, just black."

**End of Chapter 3!**

**Preview Time!**

**Next Time:**

_"Meg, oh my god! She had her period! Oh this is too great-"_

_"Peter, **SHUT UP!!**" Peter's neighbor, Joe Swanson, yelled. "Peter, it is 2:00 in the morning, and I am very tired! I apprehended four people, two of the black in the murder of a 14-year old Jew!"_

_"What the hell is going on out there!?" Another one of Peter's neighbors, Cleveland Brown, yelled out to him._

_"Dammit, Peter! We're trying to sleep!" Quagmire also yelled. _

_"I'm just saying I'm proud of her. She missed her period last month and it wasn't because she was pregnant!"_

_"Well maybe she's a lesbian!!"_

_"I'm jus-what?"_

_"I'm-I'm just saying. Maybe she's a lesbian. I read that lesbians stop getting their period at the age of 16."_

_"Quagmire, she was sixteen last year and still got her period!" Joe yelled to Quagmire._

_"Oh! Oh, maybe that was the Spanish chick I was humping."_

_"Is there any type of religious chick you haven't humped yet?" Cleveland asked._

_"Um, yeah. I don't do athen chicks."_

_"Athen chicks!?" Peter yelled._

_"Can't stand them. Never have, never will."_

_"Wait a minute. Loretta was an athenist." Cleveland yelled._

_"Yes, and she cheated on you! Look who's the loser now!?"_

**Expected Update: **December 21st.


	5. Life on Spooner Street

**Danny Phantom**

**Road to Ghost Hell (Also Known As "Danny Phantom's Totally Awesome and Yet Strangely Queer Crossover Special")**

**Chapter 4: Life on Spooner Street.**

**A/N: At the rate I'm updating this story, if I can get it done before Christmas Day, I may be able to start on a sequel, which, yes, will also involve the Family Guy cast, though clearly not as much as this one does, I can tell you that. (just think of the Jimmy/Timmy Power Hour, only better)**

**Enjoy!**

**TV-PG-DLV (This story is rated for some excessive violence, and a bit of inappropriate profanity)**

* * *

So for the rest of the day, the Fentons mostly stayed inside, soaking in the luxury of their new home. They even had a hottub in one of the bathrooms, a broken one at that. They were unaware of the various misdeeds and advetures that took place on this street during the day, and that most of them are caused by Peter.

His first schinanigin of the day consisted of an elephant.

"Hey guys, come out here for a sec!" Peter called, summoning out Cleveland, Quagmire, Joe, and even Danny out to the streets. Danny was astonished to see such a great beast out on the streets. Cleveland, Joe, and Quagmire weren't because they've seen him do stuff like this before.

"Um, what is _that_?" Danny asked, pointing to the elephant.

"Um, this would be an elephant, Issac Newton." Peter replied, coldly. "I just bought it from the Quahog zoo."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cut to Peter walking up to an elephant cage. There was a sign next to the cage that read 'Environmentally Friendly Elephant for sale.' Peter seemed interested in this elephant._

_"Um, excuse me sir," He said to Jim Kaplan, a local con artist, who just happened to be passing by. "How much is it for this elephant?"_

_"Oh, you like this elephant?" He asked Peter, hoping to make Peter a sucker out of him yet again (like he's done previously in the episodes **There's Something about Paulie **and **Hell Comes to Quahog**)_

_"Well, yes. I saw the sign said it's 'enviornmentally friendly', so I think it'll be great for the street crime. And...um, my car is a piece of junk so I'm looking to replace that as well._

_"Well, if you love elephants, then let me show you this one." Jim led Peter all over the zoo to a different elephant. But this one was much bigger, cost more, and smelled like 4-day old underwear because it was exposed to its own urine and feces for months._

_"But, but this elephant stinks! And he also sucks! Ehehehehehe! But all jokes aside, he smells like a fat woman after sex, and-and it's $9,000! Plus, how the hell could I climb onto its back? It-It's huge! I'd need like a stepladder or a jetpack or Dick Clark to climb onto him."_

_"Perhaps so. But, this elephant only had one previous owner...Michael Vick!"_

_Peter stared for a moment, and then opened his mouth because A) He had no idea who Michael Vick was, and B) He had to go pee. "Well sir, I may be a moron but what I am not is a moron. You've got yourself a deal!"_

_(End Cutaway)_

"Watch what this thing can do. I taught it how to jump, sit, stay, roll over, and play dead."

But on hearing those words, the elephant soon started acting crazy. It began running around like a crazy maniac while Peter proceeded with screaming.

"_AHH! AAAH! Oh god! Ah! OH, crazy animal! Ah! Oh god, AHH!"_

The elephant ran around for a few minutes, running around everyone else's house. Miraculously, he did not smash any of the houses he ran around, despite his enormous size. He did, however hit the side of his own house, and when he did, a small bit of the wood chipped off revealing a large big hole. Then the elephant ran away.

"What is this?!" Stewie yelled, popping up through the hole in the wall. "There's something wrong with the house!" He looked around outside, seeing nothing that could've caused this. "I don't like change!" **(From the episode 'Believe it or Not, Joe's Walking on Air)**

* * *

Later that day, Peter was involved in another schinanigin. This time, it involved Indiana Jones and a lot of crappy wise cracks. Danielle was the first to see this after coming out of the front door of her house and wanting to take a stroll around the neighborhood.

"Hey kid, kid, come here!" Peter called from the roof. He was wearing an Indiana Jones costume carrying a play whip in his right hand. "What do you call a fat person who's willing to protest against taxes? Give up? A _rapist_! HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Peter, that doesn't even make sense. Rapist have nothing to do with Indiana Jones. How the hell does that qualify as a joke??" Brian questioned from down on the ground.

"Brian, be quiet! I'm busy! See? Hiya!" He unleashed his whip out several times, scaring the birds away. "HAHAHAHA! Die, die, die! I have everything, and you have nothing!Most of them didn't want to go near Peter, but one brave bird did. And just as he was about to unleash it again, he accidentally got it wrapped around the bird's neck. But he didn't notice until after he tried to pull the whip back, and snapped its neck. As the bird dropped to the roof, Peter saw at what he had just done.

Peter had no idea as to how to react to this. "Lois, dinner!" Peter yelled after a short silence. **(This bit was done in the American Dad episode 'Choosy Wives Choose Smith' another great show made by Seth MacFarlane)**

* * *

Later that night, everyone on Spooner Street except for the Fentons were asleep. It was a quiet night, and the Fentons hoped it would be a quiet night.

Danny was tucking in her 'sister' Danielle into bed. He was hoping that tonight they would get a good night's sleep.

"Well tomorrow's the big day." Danny said to her. "Tomorrow, you become an official Fenton, and we'll enroll you in school, and play pranks on Tucker-"

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cut to the front door of Fentonworks. Tucker is just walking up to the front door. It was Tuesday, and Tuesday was the day that Danny and Sam would have a little prank ready for him. Though Danny quit this months ago, Sam has secretly been continuing doing this, and Tucker always thinks it's Danny. When he got up to the door, he saw a huge bucket of water on top. He was on to Sam's 'trick'._

_"Nice try, guys. But you can't fool me!" He yelled as he kicked the door open and dropped the bucket. But as he did, a loud shriek was heard from inside._

_Tucker immediately ran inside to see what the cause was. He looked around for a little while and suddenly realized he had accidentally slammed the door into Danny, who, ironically, had just phased into the house after having dealth with the Box Ghost._

_"Danny, oh my god! Are you alright?"_

_"What the hell is wrong with you, you sick twisted skeeze!?" Danny yelled, clutching his chest in pain._

_"But, but I thought...the bucket-"_

_"That wasn't me. That was Sam!"_

_"So you 2 are not doing pranks together anymore?"_

_"Are you kidding? Her pranks suck! Bucket on top of door? Jesus, do you really think I'd do that to you?"_

_"Oh nice try, Danny. I know it was you who did this!" __Frustrated, Danny grabbed the bucket and showed the bottom of it to Tucker. The bottom had a logo on it with a picture of a black bat on it, and the word 'Manson' on it in small print. "Oh."_

_"Yeah, OH!" Danny then proceeded to punch Tucker's lights out, knocking him to the floor unconscious. He then left the scene with no regret._

_(End Cutaway)_

"Just wait, Danielle. Once we get you into this family, we're gonna have so much fun, you'll end up p-"

"Oh my god!!" Peter yelled from over the other side of the neighborhood. "OH my god! Oh god this is too beautiful! Too unfreakinbelivable! Meg, oh my god! She had her period! Oh this is too great-"

"Peter, **_SHUT UP!!_**" Peter's neighbor, Joe Swanson, yelled. "Peter, it is 2:00 in the morning, and I am very tired! I apprehended four people, two of the black in the murder of a 14-year old Jew! I am exhausted!!"

"What the hell is going on out there!?" Another one of Peter's neighbors, Cleveland Brown, yelled out to him.

"Dammit, Peter! We're trying to sleep!" Quagmire also yelled.

"I'm just saying I'm proud of her. She missed her period last month and it wasn't because she was pregnant! I was worried about her!"

"Oh god." Danny said. "Not tonight!"

"What is it? A ghost attack?" Danielle asked.

"Worse. Lousy and annoying neighbors."

"Well maybe she's a lesbian!!" Quagmire yelled, continuing from where the foursome left off.

"I'm jus-what?" Peter said, perplexed.

"I'm-I'm just saying. Maybe she's a lesbian. I read in 'Entertainment Weekly'' that lesbians stop getting their period at the age of 16."

"Quagmire, she was sixteen last year and still got her period!" Joe yelled to Quagmire. "In fact, it was her _first _period ever!!"

"Oh! Oh, maybe that was the Spanish chick I was humping that year."

"Is there any type of religious chick you haven't humped yet?" Cleveland asked.

"Um, yeah. I don't do athen chicks."

"Athen chicks!?" Peter yelled.

"Can't stand them. Never have, never will. They're repulsive, aggrivating, and non-God belivers."

"Wait a minute! Brian's an athenist!" Peter yelled.

"And, and so was Loretta!!" Cleveland yelled.

"Yes, and she cheated on you! So who's the loser now!?"

"Yeah, she cheated with _you, _Quagmire!!!"

"Oh yeah. I forgot that!"

Danny and Danielle were forced to sit back and listen to those four morons go on and on and on about useless things. It went on for about 2 hours, though there were a few 10 minute breaks in between.

"My god, at this point I'd welcome a ghost attack." Said a very exasperated Danny. He wasn't as tired as he was annoyed. "Those guys are even more annoying than spending an all-nighter catching ghosts."

"I know. But it's not like they're trying to kill each other, right?"

_"Hey, did you just call my mother fat!!??" _Quagmire yelled to Peter, as he, Peter, Cleveland, and Joe continued their squabble.

"What!? No, I didn't. I just_-"_

_"Yes you did, Peter! You just called her a fat porkchop, you bastard!"_

_"_OK, you wanna tussle or what?"

"_Bring it, fatass_!"

At that moment, the yelling had ceased. Danny and Danielle were relieved that it was over. But that was until they heard some punches and kicks being flown outside. Danny, assuming (rather, hoping) it was a ghost attack, ran to the window to see what it was. It turns out that all it was was Peter & Quagmire getting into a fist fight.

"You had to ask." Danny coldly told Danielle.

"Kids, whatever you do...!" Jack yelled from downstairs. "Do not leave your rooms! I'll handle this! With my new giant fighting robot!" Soon, outside, mechanical whirling filled soundwaves, and soon, the Fenton RV, which was parked in the driveway, started moving its parts around. The parts quickly took the formation of a robot figure, with the tires as its hands and feet. The robot stomped over to where Peter and Quagmire were, and grabbed the two of them, and threw them aside, right into Cleveland's house.

The entire front of Cleveland's house was destroyed when they crashed into it, and as they fell down to the ground, so did the debree from his house. It revealed that he was in the bathtub when they crashed into his house, and when they fell, so did the debree holding up the floorboard.

"What the hell!?" Cleveland screamed as the floorboard started tipping towards the ground and his bathtub started sliding. "No, no, NO, NO, NO, **NO!**" He yelled as his bathtub with him in it fell to the ground, the tub breaking in the process.

"Cleveland, why do you take baths in the dead of night?" Peter asked from the ground. "It's midnight for god's sake!"

"Baths always help me calm down and stay in a peace of mind when you get involved in another crazy shinanigin like this on-" Cleveland then looked up to see his towel rack, which was still attached to the dismembered wall, start tilting towards him. "**_NOOOOO...!_**" Cleveland yelled again as his towel rack fell to the ground, smacking him hard on the head, and leaving him unconscious.

"Boy, that was random." Peter said after a short silence.

"Yeah." Quagmire replied dryly.

"Hey, let's write all over him!"

"Alriiiight!" **(The previous scene was just referencing the FG episodes "Model Misbehavior" with the whole argument between Peter, Cleveland, Quagmire, and Joe, "The Cleveland-Loretta-Quagmire" with the discussion of Loretta's affair with Cleveland, the episodes "Hell Comes to Quahog", "Barely Legal", and "Tales of a Third Grade Nothing" with the Cleveland's bathtub gag, and "The Perfect Castaway" with Peter & Quagmire planning to write on Cleveland.)**

* * *

For the rest of the night, the fighting had died out, and Danielle and Danny and the rest of the family had gone to sleep...except for Jack, who spent half of the remaining night fixing the Fenton RV since it busted after it turned into a giant fighting robot.

Though it didn't make that much of a difference for Danielle. She was still uneasy the next morning because she had that same dream again, though this time it only popped up once while usually it pops up 3-4 times a night.

The next morning, Danielle, Danny, Maddie, Jazz, and Jack came out of their house at about 9:00 in the morning and were about to head out and have breakfast out instead of in. But they brought themselves to a halt when they caught a glance of Peter who was walking on the roof towards the edge, carrying Stewie.

"What the heck is he doing _now_?" Jazz asked, getting quite fed up with Peter's antics.

"Something stupid, I'm sure." Danny replied in a dry monotone.

Peter took Stewie to the edge of the roof, and then grabbed his legs and slowly let him down gently off of the roofs, close to the wall. The wall was full of leftover cobwebs from Chris's birthday party just 3 months ago.

"Come on Stewie, it's clean-up time." Peter said in a babyish tone. "Let's get these nasty cobwebs off of these sick walls."

"You know, fatman, I can read every word in the dictionary and I have a shooting range of a seventh grader. I don't really need to hear you talk like a baby."

Stewie then proceeded to start picking up the leftover webs. Peter had a tight grip on Stewie's feet so he wouldn't drop him. He made sure to hold his feet tightly and to make sure Stewie was close to the wall so in case he dropped him, Stewie would be able to grab one of the windows. In this scenario, Stewie was not in much harm's way.

The problem was that Danielle saw this a different way.

Even though Peter had no intentions of hurting Stewie in anyway, just by the way the situation looked, with Peter hanging Stewie by his feet over the edge of the roof, triggered that awful memory in Danielle's mind again. She soon had flashbacks of that little boy who was hung over the edge of the rood, and the burglar laughing in her face.

She was frightened once more. But the more flashbacks she got of that night, the more she'd picture Peter as the burglar and Stewie as the boy. And the more those images filled her head, the more anger built up in her. She clentched her fists hard to stop herself from getting angry. But she started scowling as well, but also trying to hold back her emotions. Some of the stress she's been suffering lately was finally trying to creep out, and let itself out in a rage attack. But Danielle couldn't think to harm an innocent person.

Then again, Peter wasn't as innocent as he was retarded.

"Heheheheheh. Come on, Stewie. Rake faster!" Peter said, leaning down on the roof and dropping Stewie further down. "We don't want the pigeons to attack us again, now do we?"

"That doesn't even make sense, you stupid toad!"

Danielle caught a glimpse of Peter dropping Stewie further down the side of the house, and immediately, her hands started glowing green with ghost energy. Her scowl turned into a frightening glare, her fists were clentched tight. By now, she was straining herself trying to hold back her rage, though evidently, it would've been a good thing since the stress was slowly killing her.

So after a couple of minutes of watching Peter "torture" Stewie, she finally gave up, and zoomed right towards Peter, screaming as she did this. She tackled Peter right in mid air and took his 250 feet into the air. Peter, however, had let his grip off of Stewie, as he fell to the ground. The only thing left from him was the sound of the brizzling leaves. But Danielle didn't care. All she cared about was taking Peter down. So she took a firm grip of his neck, and kicked him in the gut several times, before he punched him once and set him soaring down to the ground. Danielle followed in hot pursuit with only revenge in her mind. Her hand glowed green as she zoomed right towards him and gave him a big, juicy ghost ray right into his torso, and let him crash into the ground.

She then followed him into the hole she made, grabbed his neck, and started choking him, banging his head several times on the ground.

"Why would you do that to an innocent child!?" She kept yelling at him, even though Peter wasn't hurting Stewie. She continued yelling as she shook him like a British nanny.

"AHH! AHHHHH! Ah, this guy's crazy! Get 'er off me! Get er' off!!"

Danielle wasn't as strong as Danny, but she was quick and fierce, especially when she started punching Peter in the face. Finally, after about 4 minutes, and Danielle showing no signs of stopping, everyone else just ran after her and tried to pull her away from hurting Peter anymore.

"Calm down, Danielle! Calm down, everything's going to be fine!" Danny kept yelling to her, but she still wanted a piece of him.

"What the hell is wrong with her!?" Peter yelled in pain, after Danielle had finally settled, er...simmered down. Danielle was so enraged she managed to give Peter a broken arm, fractured shoulder, and several bruise markings and cuts all over the rest of his body. "Is she some kind of mutant or something!?"

"I'm...I'm sorry. I-"

"No, no, you know what!? I don't wanna hear it!! Thanks to you, I'm disfigured more than you could imagine! Thanks to you, guess how many sperm I got left?? Huh?? ONE! He's lonely in there, and he's scared. If I tried to masturbate right now, a flag would pop out reading 'BANG!"

"Ha!!"

**End of Chapter 4!**

**A/N: Those last few lines were a joke once used in the episode 'It Takes a Village Idiot, and I Married One' by Quagmire.**

**Next Time:**

_"Hey, you." Stewie said angrily to Danielle. "Remember me? I'm the guy that the fatman was holding when you viciously attacked him. When you knocked him off the roof, I fell to the ground. And, uh....oh, this is where it gets good. You may have noticed there's a huge gash in my head." Stewie leaned his head forward to reveal a huge 3 1/2 inch cut in his head. Everyone in the room gasped, even Danielle. "Yeah. When I landed, my head smashed into some sort of spear that was sitting on the ground. Not sure whose it was, but it had the initials J.F on it."_

_"Oh dad..." Danny groaned, knowing clearly it was his dad's invention._

_"Oh, and guess what else. You may have also noticed-" Stewie turned his head to the left to reveal that his right ear...well, it wasn't there. "-You may have noticed **I'm missing an ear**! A Rottweiler came by earlier and managed to rip it off. Grabbed it out of its mouth before it ran off and put it in an icepack I got from 7/11." Stewie then pulled out a cup and handed it to Danielle. "So when you ready to apologize or tell me what a filthy, stinking douchebag you are, just talk into this cup."_

**Expected update:** December 24th, just in time for Christmas Eve.


	6. The 'Jack'ass Strikes

**Danny Phantom**

**Road to Ghost Hell**

**Chapter 5: The 'Jack'ass strikes!**

**A/N: This chapter and the next one are going to introduce a new sideplot for Stewie. I just came up with the idea a few days ago. I was originally going to make it a new story, but that's not going to happen. Instead, it will be the sideplot to this story, and I find it quite appropriate. **

**A/N: Plus, I'd thought that by now based on how the first chapter did that this story would already have thousands of hits. Then again, it's only been out for 2 weeks. And on top of that, it's already beating my other three PPG/FG crossover fanfics, so that's good. (They don't even have 200 hits yet, and this already has more than double that!)**

**Enjoy!**

**TV-PG-DLV**

* * *

After Danielle's little ordeal with Peter, Lois took him into the house to treat his injuries, while she also took Danielle in for some hot chocolate after she saw Danielle crying after beating him up.

Soon after, the entire Fenton family joined her inside and shared some coffee and a couple of funny stories.

The only ones who weren't having a good time were Peter, Danielle, and Stewie (Danielle was still stressed over the incident, and now for beating Peter up for no reason, Peter for being beaten up, and Stewie for unknown reasons.)

"Here's that beer you asked for." Jack Fenton said as he came in from the kitchen and handed Peter a beer.

"Thank you, Jack." Peter replied happily before his attitude suddenly turned sour again. "Did she roughhouse with it?" He referred to Danielle. "Maybe have a little anal s-"

"PETER!" Lois blasted, afraid Peter would say something that would either offend the girl or confuse her. "I'm sorry, honey. Peter can be a little hostle when he's mad."

"What the hell happened back there?" Brian asked. "One minute he was cleaning the house with Stewie and the next he was being brawled down by some mutant."

"Yeah, um. We've been meaning to tell you this, but we weren't sure how you'd take it..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa buddy, if you're about to say you're a registered sex offender, then I don't want anything to do with you or your bastard familiy."

"_Peter_!" Lois blasted again. "Go ahead. You were saying, Jack?"

"Ooh, ok how do I say it. Um...well, it kinda has to do with my kids. So, get ready. Here it is."

_Two minutes, twenty-three seconds later..._

"And that's how we ended up here today."

"Wow, wow Jack. I had no idea."

"Yeah. And to this day, I'm still being hunted in Wyoming under the name of O.J. Simpson. They think I'm Asian."

"Whoa, that is big stuff, man. And, what about your kids, uh...what with them, uh..."

"Oh right, my kids. Well, my son and youngest daughter, Danielle and Danny, have ghost powers. I won't go into how they acquired them, but let's just say...it's sorta my fault. And I'll regret hurting them for the rest of my life."

"That's why I felt green stuff on my chest when your daughter beat the f#cking crap out of me." Peter said, rubbing his head. "I kinda thought I was having an erection. But then I thought to myself 'Hey wait a minute. The only time I get an erection is when I'm naked and looking at a prostitue's picture on the web'. So that didn't work. Then I thought-"

"_PETER!"_

"What? I said 'prostitute', not 'hot, sexy Asian chick'! That's Quagmire! Jeez, bite me, Lois!"

"Look, the point we're trying to make is," Jack said, comforting Danielle as she wiped tears from her eyes. "Danielle's a good-hearted, kind and loving soul who would never, ever try to hurt anyone on purpose. She just thought you were trying to hurt your son since you were holding him over the edge of the roof."

"Yeah, but Lois says it's okay as long as I'm not drunk. It's easier that way since I'm not as young as I used to be. But of course, it didn't seem that way to your daughter." Peter was beginning to get angry again, but not like when he was first beat up. "If she thinks I'm an abusive father who doesn't know right from wrong, then I don't see any reason to have this whore in my house!"

"**_PETER! _**She's gone through hell and back these past few weeks. She saw a child get hurt right in front of her! The least you could do is show a little bit of compassion. And if you can't even do that, then just shut up!"

"Well that still doesn't excuse her behavior, Lois!" Peter studdered, getting angrier by the second. "Lois, she pushed me off the roof and beat the crap out of me and didn't stop even after I was screaming in pain!"

"Peter, didn't you just hear a word these people said-"

"Lois, for god's sake, less questions and more shut the hell up! I'm not in the mood!" Peter was now clentching his fists tightly, even started to rip the cast holding his arm. "I'm gonna give this girl the beating of a lifetime when I get out of these bandages!"

"Look, I'm sorry. I would never hurt an innocent person on purpose! It just-"

"You're not allowed to speak! You've ruined everything!! You made me drop my boy on the ground after you brutally-"

"Wait, wait, Peter! Stewie! Where's Stewie? Oh my god, where's my baby boy?" Lois started panicking but was soon relieved when Stewie came through the open front door, pissed as all heck. "Oh my baby!! My beautiful baby boy!!"

"Hey, you whore." Stewie said angrily to Danielle. "Remember me? I'm the guy that the fatman was holding when you viciously attacked him. When you knocked him off the roof, I fell to the ground. And, uh....oh, this is where it gets good. You may have noticed there's a huge gash in my head." Stewie leaned his head forward to reveal a huge 3 1/2 - 4 inch cut in his head. Everyone in the room gasped, even Danielle. "Yeah. When I landed, my head smashed into some sort of spear that was sitting on the ground. Not sure whose it was, but it had the initials J.F on it. At first I assumed it was Justin Timberlake because of the J, but then I remember his last name, and the fact that there was a picture of some sort of creature on it."

"Oh dad..." Danny groaned, knowing clearly it was his dad's invention. Only he would be dumb enough to put a picture of a ghost on his own inventions, let alone his own initials..

"Oh, and guess what else. You may have also noticed-" Stewie turned his head to the left to reveal that his right ear...well, it wasn't there. "-You may have noticed **I'm missing an ear**! A Rottweiler came by earlier and managed to rip it off. Turned out to be Joe Swanson's Rottweiler. He can be quite hectic sometimes."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cut to inside of Joe Swanson's room, where he is polishing his wheelchair._

_"This is my wheelchair!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. "My wheelchair is my best friend! Without me, my wheelchair is useless. Without my wheelchair, I am useless." Then his telephone rang. "Shut up!!"_

_"OK. Jeez, jackass."_

_(End Cutaway)_

"Yeah, he bought the Rottweiler to keep watch outside his house when he's busy with...'other things'. He came along and tore my ear off. Grabbed it out of its mouth before it ran off and put it in an icepack I got from 7/11." Stewie then pulled out a cup and handed it to Danielle. "So when you ready to apologize or tell me what a filthy, stinking douchebag you are, just talk into this cup." Stewie handed her the cup.

"Oh Stewie! This is inexcusable!" Lois barked to Danielle, suddenly turning angry.

"Yeah, what if something had happened to Stewie!" Peter yelled.

"I have a life-threatening gash in my head and an ear in a plastic cup. What the hell do I gotta do to get some attention? Transplant a testicle?"

"Look, I didn't mean to hurt the little guy. It just looked like you were going to hurt him, and I can't bear to see kids get hurt-"

"You know, this is all because you've been hanging out with that Frank Sinatra guy. I am gonna call his mother, and you are gonna st--"

"Peter, Peter, stop. W-What the hell does Frank Sinatra Jr. have anything to do with this stuff?"

"Ah, sorry. Force of habit. I guess I haven't gotten over when you bit me in the arm after that time in the parking lot."

"Peter, I bit your arm in the house because I felt you and Lois were ganging up on me for living my life the way I wanted."

"Ohh. Well, then what was with the um...uh, the parking lot-"

"That was when you locked your keys out of the car."

"Oh yeah, I remember that. I was just getting off of Xanex, too."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cut to an semi-abandoned parking lot. Only a few cars were there, Peter's sedan being one of them. His keys were out of the car, but for some unexplainable reason, he wasn't. He had locked his keys out of the car and he couldn't get them back._

_"Dammit. Uh, hey! Somebody!" He shouted through the window to try and get someone's attention. A bypasser went by without even glancing towards him. "Um, excuse me, sir? Sir? Ok sir? Sir, you see those keys? You see those keys? Sir? Sir! S-oh screw you!" He had finally given up trying to get his attention, and instead took a clothes hanger, took it apart, and slipped the little hook through the crack between the window and the top part. He moved it carefully to get to the keys. He finally did hook on the keys, but they fell off, and he accidentally let go of the hook._

_"Waaaaaaahh!"_

_(End Cutaway)_

_

* * *

_

Stewie went upstairs into his room to clean off his gash, since it became apparant that after that first glance at his gash, Lois didn't bother to take any action of it, Stewie decided to take matters into his own hands.

"Damn vile woman." He kept muttering to himself. "See a big gash in a baby's head, but do you do a damn thing about it? _Noooo_. No, you just sit there like the smug little tool you are and let me rot while I bleed internally to my death." He was attempting to put peroxide on his open wound with a cotton-ball. "What's next? You murder Jimmy Kimmel and blame it on that jackass Mickey Rooney? Alright, where're those bandages I keep in here?" Stewie took a quick look around and then up to a high shelf that had a box of bandages on it.

Evidnetally, without even thinking, he jumped up and in seconds, he was levatating. He then flew up to the box and grabbed it and brought it down to the floor. As he was getting the box open, he suddenly opened his eyes wide, and realized what he had just done.

"What the hell-" Stewie, perplexed, jumped into the air again and stayed afloat. "AHHHH! AHH! Oh god, oh god! AHH! I'm a monster!" He landed on the ground, and then proceeded to scratch his head. When he was done, he brought his hand to his face, and saw a green substance on it. He screamed again. "AAAAHHHH, What the hell has happened to me? Yesterday, I'm a 2-year old baby with matricidal thoughts of his mother and today, I'm a mutant. I must find out why!" Stewie ran over to his toy chest, where a baseball bat was sticking out. He pulled it towards him, and part of the wall opened up, revealing a titanium vault door. He walked up to what looked like a keypad, and punched in his entrance code, which was 0-2-9-3.

"I change it everytime the fatman changes his weight to remind me how much I hate that cow."

The doors opened, revealing another set of titanium doors, and this time, it was voice activated.

"_Password?" _Stewie's super computer, whom he named Karen for unknown reasons (an obvious parody of **Spongebob Squarepants**), said.

"Cool Hwhip. See? You didn't think there was a reason I put so much emphasis on the H? Thought I was just being a douche, huh?"

"_Password accepted. Welcome back, Stewart._" And like that, the doors swung open, and Stewie walked into his giant secret laboratory, filled with weapons, experiments, porn, ("Hey, don't say _that_, you bastard!!") and other freaky things a scientist would have in his lab.

"Good day, Karen." Stewie said dryly, walking up to the main control panel of his super computer. "How's your lover-boy, Sheldon, doing?"

"Oh, Plankton? That little tool? Ugh, same old, same old. Always has been for the past 25 years. Trying to steal the Krabby Patty secret recipe! Hey, why don't you try to steal the damn TV remote from under the floorboard!"

"Yes, yes, well tell him the next time you see him that Stewie says 'F#ck you'. He'll know what you mean."

"So, what's new with you?"

"Hmm, not much. Got dropped on my head, fatman being a moron again, and oh yes, this!" Stewie held up a needle that had green goop in it, the same green goop that he was bleeding moments earlier.

"Eww! What the hell is that green stuff??"

"Well, that's where you come in, Karen. I need you to analyze this stuff and tell me what it is." Karen ejected out from one of its cubbyholes a platform with a cup in it. Stewie squirted the green goop from the needle into the cup, and then pushed it into the hole. The supercomputer began analyzing it, and in seconds, it was finished.

"Wow, that was fast." Stewie said, after a ping was heard indicating the conclusion of the analyzation. "But then again, what do you expect from Optimum Online, right? It _is_ the fastest internet service ever created? Well, that and Tylenol. So, what does it say?"

"Well, according to my analysis and records, this green substances is 100% pure ectoplasm energy."

"Elaborate."

"Ectoplasm is a green, almost enzyme like substance, is found only in the spectral form of an afterlife form. Also Known as , a ghost."

"Ghosts, eh? Hmm, you know now that I think about it, that invention of Jack Fenton's really makes sense now. It's just a shame that that man is retarded.

"OK, what are you babbling about now?"

"Oh, yes, you see, earlier I was cleaning cobwebs with the fatman, and out of nowhere, there's this girl that charges at him, and forces him to drop me. So I landed on this pointy thing that apparently belongs to that man, and it gives me this gash, and well, that's how I started bleeding that green ectoplasm."

"I see."

"So, if I'm correct, when that shard opened my head, it must've transferred stored up ectoplasm that would in normal cases overpower a ghost thus causing them to disassemble, but instead entered my bloodstream, diffusing into my body cells, and has given me this new found power, in layman's terms, turned me half ghost, just like that other ghost boy, Danny Phantom. And if I'm wrong, Karen, then please revise my will, saying that I'm leaving Chris my .45 calibar gun instead of Meg."

"You mean the same gun Jennifer Hudson's mother & brother were killed with."

"The very same."

"Sounds reasonable. She's my least favorite of the family, anyway."

"Yes, who doesn't fell that way? Well, if I'm going to live with this for the rest of my life, I should at least find out the extent of this new development. Prepare yourself, Karen. You're going to need all of your reserved power. We have a long night of training and research ahead of us."

So Stewie began the tests with a full body exam, which Karen administrated. She checked his heart beat, pulse, brain function, lung fuction, kidney function, all of the functions of the major organs. She also got a blood sample of him, and checked the concentration of blood cells, and ectoplasm cells. For him to be half ghost, there'd have to be a 50% concentration of blood cells, and 50% concentration of ecto-cells.

Right now, Stewie was at 11% ecto-cells, 89% blood cells. His currently ectoplasmic energy levels were unstable.

Stewie also stepped into a scanner that gave him an outline of his body, showing him the exact locations in his body where the ecto-cells were. He also did several other tests including hand prints, eye scanners, DNA samples, Google searches on 'Danny Phantom' and 'Ghosts'. All of this took a large portion of the night. Non-stop research, tests, etc.

Finally, at about 1:30 am the next morning, Stewie was nearly done with it all. His levels were now 50% blood cells & 50% ecto-cells. He was completely stable in his ectoplasmic energy.

"Ectoplasmic energy levels stable, sir." Karen said after hours of long tests.

"Excellent. Now there's absolutely no drawbacks to having this power." Stewie said, his voice now echoing full blast as he spoke. "Oh wow, that's one strong echo. Oh, and look at this, a white aura around my body. My god, I'm really starting to love this!"

"Well, that about does it for testing, right?"

"Not necessarily. The research I've done on that ghost boy shows that there are several spectral abilities that come with having this power infused with my DNA. But, we'll cover that tomorrow. I'm tired, tonight, and I've already got crows feet. Good lord, you stay up past 8:00 and you pay for it in the morning." Stewie yawned and then headed towards the exit of his lab. He climbed into his crib and began drifting off to sleep. "Don't wanna become a late-night owl, like Peter did back in his 30's."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cut to a drunk Peter Griffin coming into the front door of his house, holding a beer bottle. He heads straight up to bed, as it is 5:30 in the morning and he's very tired._

_The next morning, he awakened at about 1:00 and walked downstairs, suffering from a hangover, to find a very angry Lois standing in the kitchen._

_"Well good morning Peter." She said grinding her teeth. "How did you sleep?"_

_"Oh L-Lois, it's only you." He slurred, walking into the kitchen. "J-Just fine, L-Lois. How'd you sleep?'_

_"Oh like a rock. And then I woke up at about 7 and got ready for the **damn Broadway Music of 'Mary Poppins' that you promised to take me too!**" She started screaming, but got a hold of herself soon, and kept it to a dull voice of rage. "What the hell did you do last night?"_

_"Ima-Ima night owl, Lois." He walked around the table to behind her, his breath smelling of alcohol. "That's what night owls do. We party 'til we can't feel feelings anymore, and then we go home, -" He then proceeded to give a hard slap to Lois's butt. "-and smack the asses of the pigs we call wives and poor liquids into their butt cracks and take pictures of it naked and then post 'em on our myspace pages." He laughed. "Quagmire is so gross!"_

_"Peter!! How dare you!"_

_"What? I-It's not my fault that every damn night I have to come home to an u-un-unappealing w-wife that do-doesn't want me to live! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go meet Quagmire at the Clam." Peter proceeded to the back door, only to be stopped by a black policeman. "W-What the hell-"_

_"Peter Griffin?"_

_"Um, y-yeah?"_

_"You're under arrest for the assault of John Lennon and grand theft of the Drunken Clam."_

_"What!?" Peter was then put in handcuffs and led away to a police car._

_"You have the right to remain silent. If you give up the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law. You have the right to have an attorney present at you in court. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be assigned to you. Do you understand and accept your rights as I have explained them to you?"_

_"Where do I splooge?"_

_"Do you, or do you now understand and accept these-"_

_"Look, I've got a stun gun and a pack of cigarettes in my back pocket, and I don't need your words to drive me to flip you off and grab them and kill you with! So just shut! The F#ck! up! Where do I splooge?"_

_(End Cutaway)_

**End of Chapter 5!**

**Next Time:**

_"Well, Karen, I must say, I'm even impressed with these discoveries, and it takes a lot to impress me, like when Will Ferrel tried to make amends with me by showing me that Christmas film, Elf, in Blu-Ray HD. But I guess now the only question is, do I use my new found power for the good of Rhode Island, or for my own personal gain? Eh, I'll flip a coin." Stewie took out a penny from his back pocket, and then flipped it up high into the air. The only problem with this, is that it didn't come back. 5 seconds...nothing. 10...nothing. 20...zip. 30...nadda. Stewie quickly grew very annoyed because it wasn't coming back, and because he was also slightly low on sleep from the previous night's testing. "Huh. Well that's new. Karen, remind me to never flip a coin again. And I ever become president of the US, I'll have to make a law banning coins from America."_

**Expected Update: **Thursday, January 1st, 2009.


	7. Stewie 'Snake' Griffin

**Danny Phantom**

**Road to Ghost Hell**

**Chapter 6: Stewie 'Snake' Griffin**

**Enjoy!**

**TV-PG-DLV**

* * *

The next morning, about 7 am, Stewieawoketo the sound of soft giggling. He opened his weary eyes and saw Peter standing over his crib, with a big smile on his face.

"Fatman, what do you want? It's 7 in the morning. It's summer. Shouldn't you be at work?" Stewie asked groggily, still tired from last night's tests.

"Hey Stewie." Peter said in a baby tone.

"What?"

"_Hi."_

"Hello, you bastard."

"Whatcha' doin'?"

"Sleeping. What the hell kind of question is that? It is 8 in the morning. What the hell are_ you _doing?"

"Nothing. But I did do something that I think you're gonna love." Peter grabbed Stewieoutof his crib and took him back into his room, where he showed him his computer that had a picture of Will Smith on it back when he was shooting 'Men in Black', as well as a description of him. "Remembr that girl that gave you those boo-boos yesterday?"

"Yes, Danielle Fenton. I remember her. She cause me my gash and my ear to be torn off." Stewie muttered to himself. _And also gave me these strange new phenomenal powers._He thought to himself as he placed his hands on the desk, only to soon have them turn intangible, and phase through the desk. Stewie immediately saw this, and screamed. He took his arms out as they returned to normal. Peter luckily didn't see this and only thought he was cranky, which he was.

"Oh I know you're cranky, Stewie. But as soon as I'm done here, I'll put you back to bed. Check this out. I managed to sketch that girl showing off that big ass of hers, even naked sometimes, and then I post those on my facebook page and wrote a description saying what a prostitute she is."

"Oh yes. Nothing says 'revenge' like showing off a girl's as--wait a moment." Stewie took a closer look at the computer and was dumbfounded at what he read. "What the hell is _this?_This isn't even close to a description of her. This is a description of the events of the Oklahoma city bombings! And this is a picture of Will Smith back when he was filimg 'Men in Black'! Ugh, how does that happen?"

"See, Stewie?" Peter asked, once again ignoring himself. "I'm dictating her as a negro! Cool, huh?"

"Well in that scenario, why the hell didn't you just draw her and then color her skin brown instead of just putting up a picture of Will Smith? You're ruining his reputation instead of hers!"

"Stewie, this is just another one of your crazy schemes!"

"This was your damn work!"

"You'll find out."

"OK, now you're just not making any freakin' sense. I feel like hitting you with something metal now."

"You just leave that to me."

"Alright, you know what?" Stewiejumpedout of Peter's arms, fed up with his stupidity. "You stay here and make a complete moron of yourself. _I _am going back to bed." And with that, he struddedoutof the room and back to his, where he was about to climb into his crib when suddenly, when he jumped up and instead of landing back on the ground, he stayed afloat in the air, and his legs were replaced with a spectral trail coming from his waist. "AHHH, dear lord, what the hell is happening to me!?" He yelled as he tried to land on the ground, and his leg returned.

"Dammit all. Looks like naptime will have to wait." Stewie growled again as he headed towards the toy chest, and opened up his lab. He turned on the power switched which then activated the lights in his lab and his supercomputer. "Karen, open up the training room. I've got a day of training ahead. While I'm in there, I'd like you to do some extensive background research and analysis on 'Inviso-bill' different spectral abilities. It seems I've acquired some of them, but I must find out which ones. Oh and could you also send in a laté, three sugars? The fatman woke me up this morning and pissed me off big time! I got almost as pissed as the fatman did when that old lady ran him over."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cut to Peter just coming out of Joes house after a nice day of watching movies and drinking. He was about to head home when suddenly, a Voltswagon came up at about 70 miles per hour came up and hit Peter straight on as he was on the sidewalk. The driver gave no warning whatsoever, and left Peter screaming his head off as the person continued to drive on top of him, trying to get past him._

_When it finally stopped, the driver stepped out of the car, and showed herself to be an elderly lady, about 87-89 years old, with a walker. She looked straight forward, not even noticing that Peter was on the floor, bleeding eternally. It was as if she didn't care._

_"Excuse me, sonny." She said with a dry monotone, still talking forward. "Could you tell me where the drug store is? I need my daily dose of meth."_

_"**What the hell is wrong with you!? **You stupid, twisted skeeze! If my kneecap wasn't broken and bleeding I'd come over there and kick your ass!" He shouted, pointing to her in hopes of getting her attention. All she did was stare out into space. Then she turned her head to face Peter. "Finally-"_

_"Shut up, you fat piece of f#ckingsh#t. I'm talking with someone here."_

_"You're talking to **ME!** You stupid old whore!"_

_"OK, you asked for it." She then took out a .22 calibar, and shot Peter twice in the shoulder, causing him to scream even louder. "Now, __Main street, you say?"_

_"What!? I didn't say no street? Are you retarded or something!?"_

_"Ok then. Main street it is." The lady stepped back into the car, and hit the gas pedal, and once again ran over Peter, leaving him screaming even louder than he's ever screamed before. Then in a fit of rage, he pulled out one of the bullets lodged in his shoulder, and threw it and one of the tires of the car. It then went flat, and in a panic situation, the old lady steered a right turn, and then ultimately crashed right into Cleveland's house. For the next few minutes, Peter layed there on the floor, groaning in pain and holding his knee (similar to what he did in the episode **Wasted Talent**.)_

_(End Cutaway)_

* * *

So Stewie spent the next couple of hours in his training room, testing out his new powers. His supercomputer had printed out several pages listing the various ghost powers that Stewiecould have access too. Due to his very young age and still developing body structure, the only powers Stewie did not have were the Ghostly Wail, and any powers involving Cyokinesis (Ice Powers).

"Alright, Karen," Stewie growled, gearing to test out his brand new body. "Let's get this underway." He held up the papers. "It says here the first spectrailability I have access to is the power of levitation. Now I just concentrate, and-" Stewieclosedhis eyes and took a deep breath. Then, he jumped off the ground and did not touch back down. He was floating in mid-air, and was immediately intrigued. "My god, this is incredible! This'll make history! Not like the founding fathers."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cut to the founding fathers sitting around in a meeting hall, ready to sign the declaration of independance._

_"OK, we are here to sign this declaration of our independence." One of them said outloud to the entire room. "Before we do so, let's take roll call. Thomas Jefferson?"_

_"Here!"_

_"Benjamin Franklin?"_

_"Present!"_

_"John Footpenis?"_

_"It's Hancock now!"_

_"Why?"_

_"Mind your business, that's why!"_

_(End Cutaway)_

Stewie rose back into the air, and started flying around, gradually gaining speed as he did so. He flew around in several circles for several minutes, and after about the 12thcircle, he rose up as high as he could, and then flew directly across the room, witha radar gun sticking out of the wall, indicating his speed.

"What's it say, Karen?" Stewie asked his computer.

"89 mph, sir. Not bad for a first timer."

"Yes, and I'm sure I'll just get even faster, just like the fatman will get even more retarded. Pretty soon, he'll probably advertize a live suicide attempt as a pain reliever and then get run out of the states."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cut to an open street in Quahog. It's a busy street filled withlotsof pedestrians. They are all minding their own businessuntil suddenly, Peter, who is standing on the curb, along with a guy of a different religion standing on a 2 1/2 ft platform and a noose tied around his neck, pulls out a blowhorn and starts yelling into it._

_"Attention, jackasses of Rhode Island!" He yelled. "What I am about to show you will change the way you think of us. Observe! A Jewish guy! Just your ordinary working man. 5'11'', very nice build, the works. Making less than minimum wage, working 70 hours a week, an abusive wife that's 388 pounds overweight, 12 kids addicted to heroin and crack, and just recently having his parents and siblings die in a house firing along with his $290,000 in life savings, and to top it all off, he was recently in a car accident and forced on a liquid diet, where he dropped from a slim 176 pounds to skeletal 145 pounds, **and **his wife blames him for it, when clearly, the evidence shows the other guy, who, for the record, died on the spot, was at fault! And after going through all of that, he still does not have the decency to try and end it. But, with my quicker-fix it solution, he'll never feel pain again."_

_"Ooh, wow. Cool. This seems promising." Some of the pedestrians immediately began speculating positive things for this._

_"Now, as you may clearly see, this man is standing on this platform, with a rope around his neck. Now this rope is attached to a hook twenty-five feet above. Now when I give the go ahead, this man will jump off the platform, and the noose will take effect. Now, this noose will stretch out those stressed out arteries in his neck, which will cause them to expand in size, and stablizeblood flow through his neck and head. Then, after a long period of time, the other arteries in his body will also begin smoothing out, allowing easier blood flow which will ultimately reduce stress and likelyhood to suffer a heart attack or a stroke."_

_The pedestrians began cheering as Peter was ready to unleash his new 'toy'. _

_"OK, go!"_

_Peter gave the man a thumbs-up, and within seconds, jumped off the platform. The noose broke his face and began choking him to death. Peter simply believed this was all part of the scheme. The tourists began worrying._

_"It's alright, it's alright. Thisi sssimply the processof stressrelease. As the noose catches his neck, it'll soothhim into a state of a deep sleep, allowing the smoothing of the arteries to accelerate at a faster pace. In just seconds, I swear, he'll open his eyes and cheer for us. OK? Wake up, Frank." Peter tapped the man's head gently, hoping he'd open his eyes. Unfortunately, he did not. In face, his eyeballs rolled into the back of his head and his face went pale. Peter started shaking him. "Wake up, sleepy head." He put his head to the man's chest and did not hear a heartbeat. "Oh boy. Uh-oh, this is not good. Oh god." Peter was quickly surrounded by the pedestrians, who started taking out guns and weapons. "Um, if it makes any of you feel any better, that-that wife of his that was abusive and morbidly obese...I raped her 17 times last year in less than 24 hours! Ha? Haa? AHHHH!" And at that point, they all started chasing Peter around the city._

_(End Cutaway)_

* * *

Meanwhile on the outside world, the Fentons were going off on their usual day: working on inventions, cleaning in the house, comforting Danielle in her stressed-out state.

That mood soon went from bad to worse. There was a knock on the door, and Danielle got up to answer it. It turned out to be Brian.

"Uh, hey there, um, Danielle, right?" He asked, a bit of nervousness in his tone of voice.

"Yeah? What are you doing here?"

"Um, yeah about that...remember yesterday when you viciously attacked my master, Peter, on the roof? You know, cleaning the cobwebs?"

"Uh-huh..."

"Well, he's pretty P.O'edaboutit. So, if you could just...not step out of the house for the next couple of days...and um, whatever you do, do not look up into the skies...too late!" The sound of a n airplane engine was heard on the ground. Brian, Danielle, and now Danny as well, looked up into the skies to find a small airplane going acrossthe sky, with a long, white tag that had a perfectly drawn picture of Danielle in a prosituteoutfit, withthe words 'Russian Hooker just moved into town. If found, please stay away from. Can be easily angered, smells really funky, and looks like a younger version of Jamie Lynn Spears without the penis' running across it. Then it had a picture of Peter giving the middle finger at the end of it.

Danielle and Danny were bothhorrified and confused. Brian remained cool and collective because...well frankly, he has to deal with Peter's crap 24/7 and he's gotten quite used to it by now. "Don't worry. He usually only does these things once and for a day. By tomorrow, this'll be old news, and the new news'll be rumors of you having gotten laid by Colin Ferrell. He makes a bad habit of saying the wrong things at the worst possible time, like when he tried to teach the wonders of cloning to the Russians."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cut to an auditorium filled with thousands of people, with Peter giving a presentation about the process of artificial cloning. He was very nervous considering that his every word would be caught on TV. He was also very careful of what he wore. (He was told not to wear anything offensive to Russians to this presentation. Ironically, he came in wearing a shirt that had the N-word on it, with a giant middle finger on the front of it, with the word under it._

_"So as you can see by these diagrams," Peter began, pointing out to the various pictures of the cloning process up on his projector. "Artificial cloning is a very complex medical procedure. It requires all sorts of DNA samples: hair, skin, teeth, urine, and feces."_

_"What was that last one?" A bypasser yelled._

_"Urine? Uh, anyway, cloning is not only scientifically difficult and unpredictable, but it also against the law. But enough about politics. Yes folks, cloning is highly unpredictable. Even though it may be an exact replica of a person, it may never have the same life of that person. After all, everybody knows that there are 3 life masses that may never see puberty: clones, robots, and Russians!" Peter laughed at his statement, thinking his was not only scientific, but funny too. Unfortunately, what he failed to realize was that he was giving this presentation in Russia, and that his 37,000 people audience was actually filled with Russians. They were all angered by this statement and immediately pulled out guns on him. "Uh-oh." Upon hearing them loading their guns and shotguns, Peter ran out of the room._

_(End Cutaway)_

* * *

After 5 strenuous hours of intense research and training, Stewiehadfinally unlocked the potential of his new powers. He had tested out his intangibility, invisibility, flight, ghost ray, super strength, and his ability to overshadow different life forms and control their every action.

"Well Karen, I think for now we're done." Stewie said, wiping his brow after finishing the tests. I must say, this has been one hell of a day. I've gotten undead powers, the fatmangot his asskicked by an adolescent, and best of all, with my newfound powers, I'll be the big news in town, even bigger than the Caylee Anthony disappearance! Then again, nothing tops the incident of last Fourth of July."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cut to the open skies on the 4th of July. Nothing exciting is going on except for fireworks being shot into the skies. One firework in particular, however, has a naked Quagmire hooked onto the string at the end of it. Somehow Quagmire got tied up in it and is now flying through the skies, screaming. When his rocket exploded, it exploded into thousands of tiny stars that formed the word 'Erection' in the sky._

_Peter, ironically, was the one who unleashed the rockets, and when he saw this, he freaked out, though it was for all the wrong reasons. "Oh come on! I ordered the blue rockets and they sent me pink instead!"_

_(End Cutaway)_

After all the tests were completed, Stewiedecidedto go out and explore the world with his new found abilities, and immediately went to picking out his costume.

"And you're doing this because..."

"Because, Karen, I'm ready to give Rhode Island a piece of my mind. I'm just about sick of that idiot Mayor West running this town! 'Fraid of Zombies, eh? Well here's a tip, dumbass! They do not exist! They're just a figment of their imagination! With my new power, I'll overthrown that bastard and recreate this town into what _I _want! Now," He held up two costumes in his hands. The one in his left hand was a Black-suited Spiderman costume (The one from the movie) and in his right hand, a Darth Vader costume. "Now I'm trying to decide which costume to wear. Which do you think? The Symbiote Spiderman or the Darth Vader one?"

"Well, to be honest, both costumes look incredibly gay."

"Oh, you think everything and everyone looks gay, like Donna Teller from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I can't decide which to wear. So, like most Americans, the boys, girls, and the Portuguese, I'll settle this dispute by flipping a coin." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a coin. He then flipped it into the air, and then tilted his head back to see where it went since he flipped it so high. Instead, it came down so fast that it accidentally went down his throat and he swallowed it. He began choking, and his computer had to send out a mechanical fist and punch him hard in the stomach to make him cough it up. "Oh god!" He yelled, panting really hard. "OH why the hell do they make these out of metal! Why don't they make them out of copper so we babies don't choke on them!"

"That's because babies aren't supposed to be playing with coins in the first place!"

"Oh shut up, Karen! You think you know everything." Stewie scoffed, putting down the DarthVader costume down. "I'll go with Spiderman, since I remember wearing the Darth Vadar one during last Halloween. That was the year the fatman was arrested for attempted petty theft on Quagmire."

"Good choice."

"Now there's just one more thing to decide. Should I use my new powers for the good of the community, or just for my own personal gains. Eh, I'll flip another coin." Stewie took out another coin and then flipped it into the air. This time, though, instead of it coming down and choking him, it simply didn't come down at all. Stewiestayed there for a few minutes, looking up to the ceiling, his attitude quickly turning negative as the seconds passed. "Huh? Well that's new. Usually, it comes down and chokes me to death. Oh well, I'll decide depending on the situation. Now, to make this official..." Stewie proceeded to put on the spiderman costume. "Karen, do you think I should wear the mask?"

"No."

"Yeah, I didn't want to, either." Then he pulled out a remote and pressed the button on it, and out popped a small, red chamber from the ground. "Hey, what the hell? Where's my blue transformation chamber?"

"Oh I'm having it cleaned in the E.R.?"

"Well, what for?"

"Your father stumbled in here days ago."

"What!?"

"Don't worry, he thought it was Toby Keith's house. He had to make stool so he mistook the chamber for a porta-potty."

"How could you-how do you mistake something that doesn't have a seat for a porta-potty!? Oh I don't understand him anymore." Stewiestepped into the chamber wearing the black suit, and had it closed. Then, with a flash of light, he stepped out in his regular outfit. "Alright, if this worked, then I should have full control over my new powers, being able to transform into my alter ego anytime I wish." Stewieput his arms to his side, and focused all of his energy on his transformation. Then, with another light flash, a red-orange ring formed around his body, and split into two, traveling up and down his body, turning his outfit into his Spiderman outfit.

"Eureka! I've done it! I am now half-boy, half-ghost, also known as Dick Cheney! No, but seriously: From this day forth, my ghost half shall be referred to as 'Snake' Griffin! Yes, yes, Snake. I like that, Snake. God, right now I feel just like that Alien from 'American Dad' that has the many personas that make him look like a drunken fool."

"Is that the show with the mediocre rock star singer whose secret identity is that of a whore who got pregnant off-screeen?"

"No, that's Hanna Montana. And the actress _you're _thinking of is Jamie Lynn Spears, the star of that crappy sitcom 'Zoey 101'. God, first they make 'Zoey 101', the next thing you know, that ex-prostitute Miranda Cosgrove gets her spin-off series. Pff! She'll be pregnant before the end of Season 2!"

**End of Chapter 6!**

**A/N: I'm in an inner debate whether to put this fanfiction on hiatus or not, because I just recently came up with a brand new fanfiction series for Family Guy, called "Family Guy's Road Trip" where the cast of Family Guy takes a trip around the Cartoon World while Brian is on a road trip with Frank Sinatra & Stewie promoting classical music. But even if I do put this on hiatus, unlike my PPG/FG series, I will return to this one because it is a good story and I want people to have time to absorb it.**

**But in the meantime...**

**Chapter 7 preview:**

Jack pleads to Peter to help Danielle destress before it keels her over. Meanwhile, Stewie unleashes his new ghost powers to the world.

**Family Guy's Road Trip Expected Publish: **January 29th.

**Chapter 7 Expected Update: **Sometime in late April, early May.


End file.
